Finding Myself: Career Choices (Part 1)

I live in a place where roaming around without a job would put one’s life, basically, on the line. And of course, it’s all about the visa and the expenses. I must grab whatever it is that would come my way, like what many other jobseekers do. But what field should I engage in this time? What is it that I really want to do with my life?


I am again on the crossroad – career-wise. I don’t want that the need and the pressure to find work immediately would land me again a job that could pay well enough but would never make me happy. And I’m gonna be sitting in the office again balancing financial statements and double ruling incomes or losses, and creating work policies and procedures, and brainstorming with the management team to find solutions to problems that have long been existent but was never solved.


I am an accountant by profession. I trained people, led a team, implemented policies & stood between the management and the rank and file employees in recession times. I took the round in all the system, managed a staff of 20, trashed old procedures and created new efficient ones.


But the most important thing I have done is that I have trained people, professionally and personally (maybe not all of them on a personal basis but most of them), and engraved in their hearts to never settle being in their positions but to always strive to get a step ahead to grow professionally. And that it is important to do what they really like to do. Something that makes them so grateful to me all these years.


I have trained people who are happy with their jobs now and I am the one left still finding what’s for me. Is this another way of defining ‘irony’? I knew I took the wrong start and I haven’t done something about it. The past years in my life had all been about working and getting the pay. Now, I just wanted to be happy.


There are two things I love doing in my life (apart from the many others ).. that is to do art and to write. For both gives me the freedom to be connected with my inner self. The plus factor is that I always see my end-product as a masterpiece. (Well, at least, in my eyes!)


I am an artist at heart. It is inherent. I am born with it. I have all the creativity inside me that could make me a full-pledged artist. I can do graphic design, I can play with colors, I can sketch, I can draw.. maybe not as good as the professionals but I know that I can always start with what I can do. And while at it, I could take short courses to enhance and update my craft.


I can also write, a lot actually. From stage scripts to taglines, from quotations to poetry.


Writing and artistry do not clash. They both require creativity of the imagination.. as both frees the mind while relinquishing the artist in an artist and the writer in the writer.


If there are people who could think outside the box, I could say that I am someone from the outside of the box. I have a different world. A world where only artists could get in and could fully understand.


Being an artist cannot be learned. An artist cannot be made. It must come from the heart. One must be born an artist . The person must be an art himself/herself.


I only need a break – a chance to prove what I can do. And maybe then, I could already stop saying that am a frustrated artist and finally live in a world I can call my own.

Netfriendship

Meeting someone online is almost like meeting someone in person. Only that it is literally your fingers who’s doing the talking and the absence of visibility to the person’s physical elements. It is a way of sharing yourself to someone who you met online.

The screen barrier, on the other hand, serves as a mask to some to hide who they really are, and a transparent film to the others that enables them to freely talk and open up their hearts to someone who’s totally stranger and just tell them whatever is it that you wanted to say or whatever is it that you truly feels.

Why are we online, anyway? To break life’s monotony, to share our thoughts and opinions without the fear of being judged or criticized, to share a good laugh, to seek an advice, or just to have somebody around when all friends are out.. or maybe to discover how others go through their daily lives and to eventually have a friend.. who knows? We just might get lucky!

Well, that’s given with the fact that we really don’t know who you can come across with. And when we’d meet someone worth spending our time talking with, then we would find this small messenger window on our screen who’s responding to our every line and every smile. And before we even know it, we already have a netfriend that could make us smile despite a very toxic day at work and the problems with your life.

Netfriendship, I believe, can be built in time, like real friendship. It is the constancy that matters and the willingness to share ourselves. Only that we share our stories, emotions, all the highs and lows of our day.. on the screen. It lacks human touch and we could only give and receive comfort through the emoticons because that’s the only way to share our emotions.

But we cannot discount the comfort, the joy and the laughs while we are facing the screen and the warm feelings that the emoticons gives us. Its just heart-melting, most of the time. And we feel absolutely close to the other person behind all those words and smileys.

But netfriends must be able to draw the line where they would stop, and be clear if what’s said on the screen remains on the screen. Because most of the time, there’s no next level to it. And we really have to keep an eye on the fine line that separates the virtual world from the reality. It will be so damn funny when you get a brokenheart because your netfriend cannot love you back for real.

Who wants a relationship with their computer screen anyway? Who would want the smileys rather than real hugs and kisses from someone who is right there in our face and who’s touch we can feel?

Netfriendship has no commitment. You talk when you both want to talk. Even one of you shows up ‘available’, there are times that you don’t talk.. and neither of you would question the other why. We cannot be possibly jealous of the other ‘netfriends’ that our netfriend has, though sometimes we do (admit it, ok?)

But you have to accept that you aren’t the only one in existence in his/her net life!

Photo Credits: soccersam.com, istockphoto.com

Men and Football

This piece is for all the girls out there who’s got their men passionate about football.

Why do women think that men are so obsessed with watching sport on TV?

Men answers, “Because for a long period of our lives, when we’re not engaged in – or having much luck with the pursuit of them, it’s the only thing we’ve got to do.. or we can do.”

I am writing this because the FIFA Fever is still so, so hot that it’s making all the men in our lives stucked in front of the television screen and momentarily lives in a world where no one, but only them and their favorite teams, exists.

Football rocks the men’s world.. or I might as well say: Football rocks the world of men. Whatever!

I could always smile with the thought of how the football fever takes over every corner of the men’s lives. There’s the anticipation and the excitement and the glory! But with their team losing the game, a big-time downer for real! They could always cry and are really broken-hearted when their teams get dumped out.. ”when their million-pound players can’t seem to kick the ball on target from 10.9 metres, losing dramatically but crushingly on penalty shootouts..” – well, that’s according to Mr. G*Nice who considers football as the ‘other’ love of his life.

And in one month after every four years, we ‘ladies’ have to accept that there is something else that is as important in our men’s lives as we are. We should have realized this on a much ‘matured’ level of our minds even prior to kick-off. It is a passion that we cannot take away from them and don’t dare ask them to choose between you and football! That’s a very big ‘No!’.

“Football fills their lives with tremendous highs and crushing lows.” And yes, tears.. “football makes the tears in men flow out of joy and despair.” Every game was a roller-coaster ride, the FIFA World Cup even more. The same guy says, “It is a fireball of nervous energy, with sweaty palms, twitching away in a world of my own. I am unable to express anything in anything less than a scream, and looked animated like the Tazmanian Devil on a Red Bull.”

There’s always the fire and it’s burning hot as ever. This, we ‘ladies’ have to know and really understand.

And don’t dare tell them, “It’s just a game!”

Because it’s not just a game.

Post Script: One night, I met a guy friend after one of the few last matches in the FIFA World Cup 2010 Round of 16 and unluckily, his favorite team lost the game. Knowing that, with my intention to express my sympathy, I greeted him with, "Oh, our team lost.." with a hug to match. He replied me with, "Please don't remind me. It's painful." The expression on his face is unexplainable.

* G*Nice is a columnist in Friday magazine (Gulf News).

Will You Pass The Test Of Life?

This is an excerpt.

John Blanchard was a soldier.

One day, in a library, he found an old book with a lot of writing in the margins. He read her handwritten notes in the book and admired their deep insights. At the front cover, he saw that the book was previously owned by a certain Hollis Maynell.

With much effort, he located her address. He wrote to her and told her about her old book and how he liked her written notes.

And she responded, thanking him for his kind words.

But that day, he was shipped overseas to fight in a war.

Still, they kept writing to each other. During the difficult times at the battlefield, her words inspired him and gave him hope.

Little by little, John was falling in love with her.

He requested for a photo, but she replied that if he really cared for her, it won’t matter how she looked.

Finally, he was going home.

They decided to meet at the Grand Central Station at 7pm.

He said he’d be in his soldier’s uniform bringing her old book.

And she said, “You’ll know me by the red rose I’ll wear on my lapel.”

When the train arrived at 7pm, John was there, wearing his neatly pressed military uniform, with her old book in his hand.

The first woman to step off the train was a beautiful woman in a green suit. But there was no red rose on her blouse.

John was disappointed. But she was so lovely, he kept looking at her. She walked in front of him, glanced at him with a smile, and asked, “Are you following me, soldier?”

A part of him wanted to follow.

But no, he had to wait for Hollis Maynell.

The next woman who stepped off the train had a red rose on her lapel. She was perhaps 45 years old. She had graying hair beneath her hat. And she was very overweight. Meantime, the beautiful woman in the green suit was walking away.

John was torn.

Yet he looked again at the woman who was wearing the red rose. He remembered her letters and what a fascinating a person she was. He remembered how wonderful her words made him feel. He told himself, “This may not be love. But this may be more than love. This will be a beautiful friendship with a lovely person.”

He walked up to her, straightened himself, handed the book to her and said, “My name is Lieutenant John Blanchard. You must be Ms. Hollis Maynell. I’m so glad you could meet me. May I have dinner with you tonight?”

The woman smiled. “I don’t know what this is about, son,” she answered, “but the young lady in the green suit asked me to wear this red rose on my coat. She also said that if you asked me out for dinner, she said she’d be waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!”

Your Choices Shape Your Destiny

Imagine the end of this story: John and Hollis getting married, having kids, and growing old together.

Because he lived deliberately.

Because he made the right choice.

Because he passed the test.

Friend, life is a series of tests.

And your choices—your answers to the test—will shape your destiny!

Sometimes, it’s a choice between love or lust.

Sometimes, it’s a choice between selfishness or selflessness.

Sometimes, it’s between what your heart wants and what your flesh wants.

Sometimes, it’s between what will bless you forever and what will give you pleasure this moment only.

Your life is really all up to you.

You’re the chef of your meal.

You’re the architect of your house.

You’re the scriptwriter of your movie.

You’re the composer of your song.

You’re the painter of your masterpiece.

At the end of the day, you decide how happy, fulfilled, and blessed you want to become.

-From the Soulfood Newsletter of Mr. Bo Sanchez

Come to think of it. Our life is not always about fate or destiny. It is more about the decisions we make and that would tell us what we will become and where we will be in this life, how we will go through our lives and who we're gonna spend the rest of our lives with. -TsoCoLate-

How Do You Know Whether Its Infatuation or Real Love?

This was an excerpt from a Friday mag, in the popular G*Nice column which has been my all-time-favorite page in the magazine.

One of his readers threw this killer question which says, "How do you know whether the feelings you have is infatuation or real love?". And he proposed that the potential answer, if there's such a thing.. a mighty complex thing, is personal to each of us.

He wrote...

"I guess that all hook-ups start with infatuation which is officially defined as 'a foolish, unreasoning or extravagant passion or attraction'. Surely some things in life should be driven by emotions alone, above all other more logical rationale. If that makes me foolish and unreasoning, then so be it."

"I mean, it's not like buying a car - where mileage, previous owners and a scratch on the body work are key considerations. Where relationships are concerned, my advice is just jump in and see how it feels when you are driving, how well it handles on the open road with the top down, and more importantly, how it handles on sharp bends, wet roads and heavy traffic!"

"The only part of the definition that I am totally feeling is the extravagant passion/attraction, which should be omnipresent at all times if initial infatuation develops into that crazy little thing called love."

"Infatuation might have that feeling of the short-lived about it and if it does, then that's the thing to place your trust in - just enjoy it for what it is. Like ice cream."

Like ice cream?

"Most of us love ice cream and can gorge ourselves on it with great pleasure but there comes a time when we know that we have to balance our diet with something that's a bit more nutritious."

"You never stop loving ice cream and should never deny yourself that pleasure, but we all know that it best exists when consumed alongside other foodstuffs rich with vitamins, minerals and goodness."

"I think that infatuation is much like the instant hit that you get from the perfect snack at just the right time, whereas real love delivers the all-consuming hit that you can only get from a truly awesome meal that has all the flavours that make the lips tingle and the stomach full to the point of a contented tummy patting and ultimately the loosening of the belt!"

True!

Taglines

Link: Fitness, Health & TsoCoLates on Facebook

"At any point in your life, it is never too late to start something that would make you feel good about yourself."

Lucky Coin

I was standing near a parking ticket machine beside the road to hail a cab when I saw a guy trying to get a ticket for his parking but his coin could not get through. I saw him tried over and over again and I have thought that the machine could be faulty. He glanced over my direction as if he was aware that I am watching him and smiled. He tried twice again his coin but the machine still keeps on giving it out, instead of a ticket.

He approached me for a coin. So I looked in my purse and at the best of his luck, I have there one single coin. I handed it over to him and he gave me the coin which the machine did not accept. When he inserted the coin I gave him, he got his parking ticket in a second. He smiled again at me and said, ‘Lucky Coin!’ and thanked me.

While am seated inside the cab, I wondered.. ‘How many lucky coins do we have in our lives?' They are those little things which practically save us from real troubles and unwanted incidents. We could be receiving our lucky coins everyday but maybe we’re just too passive to notice them.

It could be that unwanted call that brings good news, or an accidental acquaintance from nowhere who became a valuable contact eventually, or a friend calling you when you lost your way and you run out of credit on your phone.

And we, in some ways, could be a lucky coin, too – to others – just like my story in the beginning of this blog. When you will be reading between the lines, it’s not really the coin that got the guy lucky but it is my presence at the same place where he needs some luck.

Lucky coins, I believe, duplicates itself more often than usual. Be a lucky coin to others and you’ll attract more of them in your lives. Or do it the other way around – Pick ‘em up and give ‘em away.

Photo Credits: flicker.com, solidperfume.com

Crash 'n Burn

“Great friendships are never made in times of riches and plenty but in times of hunger, pain and hopelessness.” Indeed, it is the measure true friendship. You can call somebody your true friend when he or she is beside you - be it rain or shine.

It will be hard to define friendship in one sentence, and it is as equally hard to define what a ‘friend’ is.

I love this particular song of Savage Garden entitled ‘Crash and Burn’. It talks about a deeper kind of friendship and that is mainly the reason why I used the song title in this blog.

It says,

“When you feel all alone and the world has turned its back on you

Give me a moment please, to tame your wild, wild heart

I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you

Its hard to find relief and people could be so cold..

When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can’t take anymore..

*Let me be the one you call

If you jump, I’ll break your fall

Lift you up and fly away with you into the night..

If you need to fall apart, I can mend your broken heart

If you need to crash, then crash and burn – you’re not alone..

When you feel all alone and a loyal friend is hard to find

You’re goin’ a one-way street with the monsters in your head

When hopes and dreams are far away and you feel like you can’t face the day..*”

It only says that when you got a true friend, you can never ever be alone. Because a friend will go the extra mile and the extra legwork and will put off everything aside even with just a one-liner on the messenger that conveys a message that he/she is broken-hearted or he/she cannot take this life anymore or he/she wanted to jump off the bridge. And if you are a true friend, you wouldn’t even dare typing back something like, ‘That is so funny! Hahaha!’ with the big grin smiley or ‘What’s the drama?’ with the raised eyebrow smiley. Instead, you’d flee like the Roadrunner and the next thing you’ll know is you’re beside this howling creature which you call your ‘friend’.

When at your low, a friend will cheer you up. When the world treats you cold, a friend will warm your heart. When things go wrong, a friend will assure you that everything’s gonna be fine. When things fall apart, a friend will make you feel whole. Come to think of it. That kind of friend will do just about anything to put you back in place and will keep his/her on you until you’re back on track.

When you’re at your lowest, and you need to crash – a friend will be there to crash with you. He or she will never let you crash alone, much more – to burn alone.

Heartaches and life’s pains will always be there but a friend will always help you find a reason to breathe and live again.

Go on. Crash and burn. Don’t worry. You’ve got a friend.

*Song Lyrics of Crash 'n Burn by Savage Garden

Random Thoughts

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?

by Rose Walker

Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you - until one person, no different from any other, wanders into your life one day...

You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way directly into your heart.

It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt.. a body-hurt.. a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the "why" for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any "how."

Surrender

Surrendering means, by definition, giving up attachment to results. When we surrender to God, we let go of our attachment to how things happen on the outside and we become more concerned with what happens on the inside.

When we love, we are automatically placing ourselves within an attitudinal and behavioral context that leads to an unfoldment of events at the highest level of good for everyone involved. We don't always know what that unfoldment would look like, but we don't need to. God will do his part if we do ours. Our only job in every situation is to merely let go of our resistance to love.

Relationships are assignments. They are part of a vast plan for our enlightenment, the Holy Spirit's blueprint by which each individual soul is led to greater awareness and expanded love. He brings together people who have the maximal opportunity for mutual growth. No meetings are accidental.

In the holy relationship, it's understood that we all have unhealed places, and that healing is the purpose of our being with another person. We don't try to hide our weaknesses, but rather we understand that the relationship is a context for healing through mutual forgiveness. Adam and Eve were naked in the garden of Eden but not embarrassed. That doesn't mean they were physically naked. It means they were emotionally naked, totally real and honest, yet they were not embarrassed because they felt accepted completely for who they were.

- by Marriane Williamson-

Do your part and just surrender to where God would lead you. Believe that He had already mapped out the direction where you're heading. But make sure not to lose your way. -TsoCoLate

Falling In Love..

"Falling in love is like crossing a skeleton pedestrian bridge."

I am scared of heights. Especially when I could see and feel that I am slowly being ‘physically elevated’ from one place to another. But much, much more when I can literally see that I am moving up or being raised from the ground, the comfort zone wherein I wouldn’t fall hard either I would accidentally slip on my own or when somebody would bump on me carelessly enough to cause me little accidents like stepping on my shoes or make me lose my grip on whatever I have in my hands.

The higher I go up, the more spine-chilling it gets. It’s like the Earth’s stopping its orbit and I am frozen in time – not knowing when I could reach the very last step of it which is the highest. When I would be halfway through it, it’s always a crossroad. Should I move continuously up or should I step down while I can still manage the steps and just take the longer way around to get me to the other side of the road.

It gives an identical feeling when I am at the verge of ‘liking’ somebody way beyond the mere fondness. I have to stop and ask myself: Should I go forward or should I step back? Sometimes it’s just hard to let go of something that you know you’ve always wanted all your life. Though it’s hard to wait around for something that you think ‘might’ not happen but it’s even harder to give it all up when it’s everything that you long to have. It’s hard to let go of the thought that you might possibly fall-in-love.

But like going up the skeleton pedestrian bridge, each step of the way in ‘liking’ and eventually ‘falling’ for someone sends a chilling numbness in my being because of the fact that though it would give me a blissful feeling at the start and knowing that soon I will be at the top of the steps - I would never, ever know what’s waiting for me there. It is always a question if I would remain to be standing there ( which is the most ideal and will make me truly happy), or after reaching the top, my knees would be trembling big time because I have a broken-heart and I have to step down, no matter how shattered I feel.

But then despite this thoughts, I always try to take the steps one at a time, telling myself that in no time, there will be answers to my questions. It might not be really heart-friendly when the other person would not reciprocate what I feel but no one can use directives in matters of the heart. However things would be in the end, more often than not, it is what we feel at present that’s important and the majority are always willing to risk it all to experience the bliss of falling & being in-love.

It was said that ‘To Love With Utter Abandon Without Knowing What The Future Would Bring Is Magic..” It could be simply said as ‘let go of all your fears and just fall-in-love’. And who doesn’t want a little magic in their lives?

When friends would ask me for some good advice, I always tell them this: “When you know what will make you happy, go for it.. sometimes, there’s no second chances..” , with a smile, a blink, a hug and a post-script saying, ‘..but don’t forget to keep half of the love for yourself..’. That is so, when it wouldn’t work out right, they’d still be standing on their feet and wouldn’t be crushed down to the ground. Maybe I should take that advice for myself.

But I always give 100%. And wherever it would bring me, I could use the love or the hurt to toughen my knees and hopefully, to cross the bridge with my heart and soul still intact and my major senses functioning right..

Photo Credits: flicker.com