Social Net.. Working

Just out of curiosity, I searched for an old classmate’s name in Facebook as I have found an old photo with her in my memorabilia box. I clicked on the photo that I think is hers on the third page of the search results and thought about what could she be doing in her life now. I am only expecting to see her profile photo as I knew that a lot of FB users would set their privacy to ‘Only Friends’ but as her public profile opened, the trail of her life in all the years that passed was on my face in an instant. And there was her 657 friends.

I am not so much into social networking but I do have existing but ‘not-really-active’ profiles in MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Meet Up and Friendster.

Okay, Friendster had already lost its popularity but people still open it once in a blue moon and some are still posting their updates there once in awhile.

As I am writing this, I have 24 friends in Facebook. Yes, you got that right! It’s only 24 (and half of them are relatives!) And if I would be setting a day to find all of my real true friends in the planet, maybe I’ll reach the count of 50, more or less. Seems that I have a limited world, huh?!

Of course, I know a lot of people and I have a lot of acquaintances. But I don’t add all of them. Isn’t Facebook supposed to be a place to connect with people who are our ‘friends’? Or maybe, it’s just me.. or maybe, I see it in a different perspective. I can only have my ‘friends’ in my friends list and they are the ones who I allow to see and witness what’s going on in my life as I am updating my status and photos and sharing my full profile.

‘Friends’ to me defines the people I know and who knows me personally. They could be people I’ve known long way back or friends I made at work and a few acquaintances every now and then which I developed personal connections. They are the people I can relate with and who can relate to me back. But I have one weak spot here. There are a few people that I met and created a ‘more-than-just-a-plain-acquaintance’ rapport but I am anxious to add them because I ‘might’ not be accepted for whatever their reason could be, though the chances of being turned down is bleak because everyone’s business is all about adding people and that’s not a really fair thought to have in mind.

I remember there was this real estate consultant guy who I met in one of the property shows last year. He sent me a message in FB introducing himself as such and along with it was his friend request. I didn’t accepted his request because I don’t know him at all. Our connection starts and ends with both of us being in the real estate industry and nothing more. But I am always open for possibilities. I am sure that we exchanged business cards then and there can always be a reason to call, or to send SMS, or to chat, or to write an email – if one really wants to connect with you. There’s a lot of ways to be friends and once I established that connection, then you’d surely land on in my friends’ list, either you add me or I add you.

Otherwise, I have a LinkedIn professional profile wherein I can add business network connections and it doesn’t really matter to me if everyone could see my career updates and what I am doing in my professional life all along.

I don’t think Facebook is a numbers game. I still go for quality instead of quantity.

MySpace is a place to meet random people. It’s totally not a place for friendship. Users will write about themselves ( and most of the time, it's not really about 'them') and who they want to meet. People add people, like its a lottery game. Strangers would send message wanting to be friends or wanting to have a ‘relationship’ with you which is kind of weird. They would write how your profile amazed them when there is really nothing in your profile but a headshot and age and location. I don’t feel sorry for ignoring friends requests there and deleting messages from wanna-be friends. But I must say that with the hundredths of requests and messages that I received from this social networking site, there’s one or two people who made it to my friend category. One of them, I sent a message myself.

I signed-up for Meet Up to create connections and to literally meet people. Meet Up has groups that you can join to meet like-minded people according to what interests you. Its objective is to do something, learn something and share something. I joined Dubai Coffee Meet Up Group (because I love coffee), The Dubai Writers Group (because I aspire to enhance my craft), The Career Coaching Group (because I think I need help from the pros), Change Your Life and NLP Coaching (because I may get tips on how to improve my life more), Net Meet Up (because I might get a really good business opportunity here), and Serendipity in Dubai (because I am up for any surprise that would come my way). There are varieties here and the networking concept isn’t just about online connections but you go out there to meet people face-to-face who can be a business connection, some maybe recreational activity partners and some may become friends that you may add in FB.

And if there’s anything that I want to share with the world, I tweet. I don’t care if no one cares. It’s just that there are times that I feel like I need to say something to the world to give me a feeling of correlation without revealing my true identity. It was so because I am using a pseudonym at Twitter.

Oh, I almost forgot I also have a Multiply account that doesn't multiply at all. Well, I used to keep my write-ups there ages ago but then blogsites came out so I need to shift.

Everything here is from my own point of view but I would love to hear yours.

So.. Friends, anyone?

Logo Credits:  bobreyes.com, rec.udel.edu, flickr.com, gsb.columbia.edu, meetup.com

Netfriendship

Meeting someone online is almost like meeting someone in person. Only that it is literally your fingers who’s doing the talking and the absence of visibility to the person’s physical elements. It is a way of sharing yourself to someone who you met online.

The screen barrier, on the other hand, serves as a mask to some to hide who they really are, and a transparent film to the others that enables them to freely talk and open up their hearts to someone who’s totally stranger and just tell them whatever is it that you wanted to say or whatever is it that you truly feels.

Why are we online, anyway? To break life’s monotony, to share our thoughts and opinions without the fear of being judged or criticized, to share a good laugh, to seek an advice, or just to have somebody around when all friends are out.. or maybe to discover how others go through their daily lives and to eventually have a friend.. who knows? We just might get lucky!

Well, that’s given with the fact that we really don’t know who you can come across with. And when we’d meet someone worth spending our time talking with, then we would find this small messenger window on our screen who’s responding to our every line and every smile. And before we even know it, we already have a netfriend that could make us smile despite a very toxic day at work and the problems with your life.

Netfriendship, I believe, can be built in time, like real friendship. It is the constancy that matters and the willingness to share ourselves. Only that we share our stories, emotions, all the highs and lows of our day.. on the screen. It lacks human touch and we could only give and receive comfort through the emoticons because that’s the only way to share our emotions.

But we cannot discount the comfort, the joy and the laughs while we are facing the screen and the warm feelings that the emoticons gives us. Its just heart-melting, most of the time. And we feel absolutely close to the other person behind all those words and smileys.

But netfriends must be able to draw the line where they would stop, and be clear if what’s said on the screen remains on the screen. Because most of the time, there’s no next level to it. And we really have to keep an eye on the fine line that separates the virtual world from the reality. It will be so damn funny when you get a brokenheart because your netfriend cannot love you back for real.

Who wants a relationship with their computer screen anyway? Who would want the smileys rather than real hugs and kisses from someone who is right there in our face and who’s touch we can feel?

Netfriendship has no commitment. You talk when you both want to talk. Even one of you shows up ‘available’, there are times that you don’t talk.. and neither of you would question the other why. We cannot be possibly jealous of the other ‘netfriends’ that our netfriend has, though sometimes we do (admit it, ok?)

But you have to accept that you aren’t the only one in existence in his/her net life!

Photo Credits: soccersam.com, istockphoto.com

Unsecured Wireless Network

Unsecured.

That’s how I see you when you first walked into my life. Single and looking for somebody who will be interested in your availability and more importantly, for somebody who may be able to connect.

You were searching and my face went past your screen among the many others. And maybe, you gave a second look at me and thought if this girl can connect with you. Then you clicked on me. You have set your introduction in an email and configured how you will get into my life.

Then the inevitable happened. When your email reached my inbox, I have had no clue that I will be entrapped into something that I would not be able to get myself out of. I responded to your very first email and pronto! Connected!

That has been easy for you. To catch me just like that when you came searching. Luck must be on the lines in the palm of your hands.

With your charm and wit, I fell under your spell. Your persistence and constance have made it to the spot where you wanted to be. In my heart. Without sweat and by just merely talking your heart out. You did that everyday without fail and taking advantage of the power of the wireless connections.

I meet you on my screen everyday. Whether in the form of an email, an offline message or the supremacy of your fingers typing on the other side. Without realizing it early on, you have crossed the threshold of my being.

But what happens when your ‘Open Access-ed’ being had turned into a closed and unreachable entity which I cannot connect with anymore?

Yes. You came into my life unsecured and though you got me connected at the start, I can easily be disconnected from your range at your will.

Now, a sad emoticon on my screen.