Love is Forgiveness

Someone told me about a story of a newly-wed couple in some far and remote country-side place. After the wedding, the husband had to leave home for a month to work in the city and he had to travel using a long boat ride to reach his place of work. The wife was left alone. After a week or two, the wife started to miss her husband badly and she felt the need to go to cross the river to see him. She doesn’t have any money to pay for the boat ride but regardless, she went to find out if she can get a ride.  She approached the first man with the boat and pleaded to give her a ride and she will pay him later when she comes back after she’d seen her husband. She would surely have some money by then. But the man refused.  She never stopped because the need to see her husband is the most important thing in the world for her now and she would do anything.  She found the second man with a boat who said yes to her but on an indecent condition. She agreed to his condition and off she went to cross the river. Her husband was surprised seeing her and knowing that she has no money to cross the river, he asked her. She told her husband how she got the ride. The husband had gotten really angry and beaten her. He left her after and never came back home.  

Now, the question is: Who’s got the worst character in this little story?

My answer was the unforgiving, unloving husband.

Another answered that it’s the wife because what she did broke everything apart. And we were told that this is the right answer.

Let me tell you why I picked the husband.

There are four characters in the story. The husband, the wife, the first man who’s got the boat and the second man.

The equation here is [ BOY + GIRL = LOVE ] [ LOVE = MARRIAGE ] [ MARRIAGE = HUSBAND + WIFE ]. There was love, therefore there was marriage.

The first man with the boat is the Businessman. You want a ride, pay me the money. It all goes down to business.

The second man with the boat is the Devil. You can get this IF you will give me this. You need to return the favor.. but actually – it is advancing him the favor.

The wife is the typical woman who loves her man. She is weak. She is willing to make sacrifices. All to suffice the need of love. She would trade anything in this world to be with her man.  There’s a lot of her in us. The rich girl who turned her back to a huge inheritance because she loved a farmer. The woman who sacrificed a high-profile career to be a plain housewife. The wife who would not sleep to earn money because her husband has cancer.  Our gender would do anything, struggle through anything – for that four-letter word: LOVE. Who can blame us?

The husband is unforgiving and unloving. The act of his wife is not out of unfaithfulness, nor out of money. It is an act driven by love. The end purpose is love. The end purpose is him. But since he is ruled by ego and pride, he beat his ‘weak’ wife and left her.

You will not leave someone, especially your spouse, for committing a mistake or for doing something out of the way to serve a higher purpose that is Love. None of us has a pure soul. Therefore, we should be able to forgive. And we can only do that when LOVE resides in our HEARTS.



P.S. I really disagree that it is the wife.

Sunflower (A Myth)

I wrote this (more or less) 10 years ago for my cousin's school project in highschool. Glad I found this in one of the floppy discs that I kept for ages but it was a full hardwork before I was able to get this file as the disc needs serious recovery efforts..

***

Once upon a time, there was a man sitting beneath a Laurel Tree in the middle of the forest.  It is the only Laurel  Tree to be found, standing out among all the other trees, maybe because of the love that nourished its existence from day to day. And it was the love from the man in its leafy arms, who, in everyday of his life from the day his heart died, spent all his time under this tree.

 

Weeping aloud, the forest heard  his cry, “Oh, Daphne… Daphne… my heart you took, my love forever be  yours…”

 

Every  little seed, every  little flower, even the huge  trees and the tall bamboos; and each butterfly that passes knew for some reason how much pain he  bears and how hurt he is for the loss of someone most dear in his heart.

 

And in between breath, “When will I be with you… when can we hold?,” he whispered.

At the heart of the forest wherein beauty is the only thing to be seen, it is a disappointment to see a lonely soul crying his heart out.  Much more to see that it was from a man, staring at nowhere, resting his back at the lower part of the trunk and unconsciously playing with the dried laurel leaves on the ground.

 

He rested his head, closed his eyes and uttered again, “Daphne… Daphne…,”  almost without a sound. And there was silence.  Only the chirping of the birds and the brushing of the leaves in the trees can be heard. 

For long, he stayed just like that until he noticed the movement of a bush nearby as if a  rabbit or a medium-sized animal was behind it. But he haven’t  seen any animal around the forest eversince, only the flying creatures.  He wondered if there could be anyone who knew of the forest. 


“Who is that?” he asked in a loud, clear voice.


The bush stopped moving as if the creature behind became afraid of his voice.


He stood up, took a step forward and speaked again, “Someone is there behind that bush, show yourself!” His words sounded more of an order than a kind favor.


Seemingly afraid, a young lady stood up and showed herself not lifting her face up and both hands are in hold of a basket full of newly picked flowers.


“Who are you?” he asked in a deep, low voice.

 

He took a step again to get near her but she suddenly dropped off  the basket and run as fast as she could.  He did not run after her, instead, he picked the basket with flowers and he showered the flowers at the feet of the Laurel Tree and tied the basket at the back of his horse.

The next day, the young lady was there again picking  flowers~gathering them all in apron above her dress. He arrived and when he saw her a mile away, he got down from his horse and walked towards her without noise, careful  not to get her attention because he’s afraid she might  run  away again. When he got near, he came to her with the empty basket.

“Maybe it would be easier for you if you place all those beautiful flowers in your basket…”, he said softly while handing her the basket. The surprise in her eyes was obviously seen. She wasn’t afraid of this godly being in front of her but the sight of him weaken her knees and makes her heart beats faster than ever. A few of the flowers have fallen from her apron and before she knew it, the man was picking them up and placed them in the basket.

He stood up and handed her the basket.

He smiled. She smiled. 

“What’s your name?” it was the young lady who asked.

He smiled again, glad that she speaked. 

“I am Apollo… and you are?” he asked.

“My name is Fleur,” she responded looking down at her feet, blushing a little.

He lifted up her chin and looked directly at her eyes. 

“You are beautiful, young Fleur… why are you always here?” he asked again. 

“I pick flowers as you can see. I sell them in the flower shops in town. The shop owners told me my flowers are the most beautiful they’ve seen. How about you? I always see you under that tree for quite long now…,” she said pointing out to the Laurel tree.

The expression on his face saddened. 

“It’s called the Laurel tree. I’m always here because my heart is with that tree since Daphne died. She’s my heart… my life…,” he took a deep breath, “…the Laurel tree and Daphne ~ they’re only one.” 

In a way, she understands what he is saying. 

“And that is why you’re wearing Laurel leaves on your hair?” she asked.

He nodded. 

“Fleur, you don’t need to  tell anyone about the significance of the Laurel tree to me… I know you are my friend.” He said hoping that the young lady respect his plea.

She nodded.

Days. Months. Years passed. Apollo and Fleur became good friends and the forest was their paradise. They didn’t  failed to see each other everyday. But one day, Fleur didn’t come and Apollo wondered why. The next day, he saw an old woman picking flowers with a basket. It happened for days and not being able to help it, he approached the old woman. 

“Who are you? Do you know Fleur?” he asked in a soft voice. 

The old woman looked up at him. 

“I am her mother. Fleur is sick and she cannot come to pick flowers, so I did.” She replied.

His worries are seen from his eyes. 

“I want to come with you . I need to see her.” He said.

The old woman shook her head. “No, she doesn’t want you to see her sick and laying helplessly in bed. I’ll tell her you want to see her and I’ll tell you tomorrow what she wanted to do when we see each other here." 

He spotted a rare yellow orchid, picked it and gave it to the old woman. 

“Give this to her and tell her that I missed her and that I really wanted to come…,” he said.

The next day, he arrived there early morning and so did the old woman. She handed him the basket full of flowers and told him to give it to her. 

“Meet her at the Laurel tree, she’s already there…” the old woman said in a very weary voice and tears are on her lids. “Take care of my daughter, Son. She won’t be here for long…” and the old woman turned her back crying.

He’s confused by the old woman’s words. There’s a lot of question in his mind but he opted to run fast towards the Laurel tree where Fleur is waiting.

He found her seated on the ground, resting her back on the lower trunk, her fingers playing with the dried Laurel leaves, just like the first time she had seen him.

She looked up on him and smiled. He cannot afford to smile back at her because of her weak and helpless appearance. 

“Shower me  with flowers…,” she whisphered.

He did as he has been told. She laid her body down and bathe with the mixed fragrance and  beauty  of the flowers surrounding her.

“Why?” he asked. 

“Apollo, I have you here,” she said feeling her heart with her right hand, “but Daphne is there,” pointing to his heart. “I don’t want to come between you and your love for Daphne. I tried to hide what I feel for you. All these years, every moment we are together- the love in my heart grows stronger and stronger for you. So, I backed off, knowing that I cannot help it and this complicated my heart seriously,” she paused, catching her breath. “I will always look up on you and adore you even after I’m gone…” she paused again. 

“Fleur, no… please,” he uttered with tears in his eyes.

Tears flowed from her eyes, too. 

“I love you, Apollo… remember my words… I would always look up on you…” that was the last she could speak and her breath was gone.

He embraced her and cried. The wind blew making every flower on the ground move and swayed the others which are still on their roots. Even the Laurel tree swayed and a few leaves fell down as if it joined Apollo’s tears.

He whispered, “You are dear, my Fleur. I will always look down on you to see that no one will do you harm. We will be together and Daphne will surely understand. You came into my life when I am most depressed and down from the loss of a love. You gave my life a new hope and you showed me its beauty.” Tears continuously flow from his eyes.

He took her hand and kissed the back of it, embraced her more tightly and kissed her forehead. 

“Fleur, oh, Fleur… you didn’t  know I am the Sun… yet I do know~you are My Flower… of all these flowers in the forest and in all the land, you’d stand out to be the brightest, the smartest of them all. You will bring forth hope and beauty and you will be called… Sunflower.”

Photo Credit: flickr.com

A Happy Ending (Fiction)

I was with my bestfriend in a shopping escapade when my mobile phone rings with an unknown number. I answered with a ‘hello’ and the caller says ‘Hi’ – I freezed in awe and convinced myself that I thought wrong. But I know, I was not. I don’t want to sound too excited to hear the voice from the other end and pretend that I don’t have a clue of who my caller was.

“Marge?”, he asked trying to make sure that he’s talking to the right person.

I said, “Yes, this is Marge. And you are?”, as I crossed my fingers hoping that I wasn’t wrong.

“Andy here. I hope you still remember me..”, he said. His voice was hopeful and excited and alive.

I said ‘alive’ because I think that’s the best way to describe it from a person whom I thought was out of existence. Or maybe I was just forgotten.

How in the world could I forget that name. For more than a year time, I didn’t gave up my hopes that one day he will call me and when that happens, everything will be right. It was one year and five months. There was almost nothing to remember between us, but it was so much for me to treasure. The night of our meeting lived in my heart and I can vividly recall each and every moment of it.

I still don’t want him to feel that I knew him instantly.

I said, “Andy from….?”. I don’t want to be suspected of playing games here but I want to conceal myself. Not now. Not so fast.

Again, the eagerness in his voice makes my heart thump louder.

“We met in the safari before.. we actually spent that night in the safari together. C’mon, Marge.. its me..”, his last words is begging me to remember him.

“Uhmmn..,” I mumbled, “Andy..”, and I heard him sigh like he was relieved.

I am obviously out of words. What is there to say?

“So, how are you?”, I asked him.

“I’m good.. fine.. how are you? I am so glad you still have the same number. It’s a long story how I found your number after losing it. This is my lucky day!” It seems that he can’t stop his words. “Marge, I’m not sure whether my timing is right but I really didn’t entertained any second thought to enter my mind because all I need is to call you and ask to meet with you, if you will be available?”

I was startled. What’s with this guy now? He lost and found my number. No details. This is his lucky day – because he found my number? Then he’s talking about right timing and the need to call and meet me. That’s a ‘need’?

“Hey,” I was trying to compose myself. I cannot raise questions now. “Anything urgent? Hahaha.” I hope the sound of my laugh wasn’t fake. “See, I cannot meet you tonight..”, I said, recalling my schedule for the coming nights.

“Tomorrow?”, he asked like he cannot wait.

I don’t understand the rush.

“Okay. Call me around 6pm tomorrow and I’ll confirm if we can meet around 8. Would that be fine?”

Do you know how being lucky sounds like? “Great. Great.” It was in his voice.

“It’s not confirmed yet, just to be clear.” I said.

“Yah, I know. But still, I will look forward to it.” He said in conformity of my idea.

I suddenly remembered that I am with my bestfriend Sally and wondered where she is. I walked without knowing where my feet would lead me. Still feeling a bit lost or amazed, not sure what word would exactly describe how I feel after talking to him.

“So, who called you?”, Sally came from behind, “.. that seemed serious.”, she said.

I looked at her straight in the eye and said, “It was Andy..”. I don’t need to explain to her. My bestfriend knows everything.

***

The next day was a busy day for me so I didn’t have a hard time keeping him out of my head. It helps to get through the day when you’re not counting the hours. At 6pm sharp, my phone was ringing, it was him. The guy wouldn’t miss.

We drove to one of the famous hotels in the city with its fine dining restaurant at the 3rd level overlooking the sea. It was an expensive place but he insisted on. “This place is perfect, you’ll see.”, he told me. We headed to a corner with a table for two and the place is like a part of a park with some street lamps and park benches. The air was filled with a soft instrumental music.

I don’t need to say more because the place is amazing. But what is more overwhelming is the thought of spending a few hours of the night with him. While I was trying to appear cool, I can see the smile that he cannot hide. It is evidently there and it was real.

We preferred to sit in the open where the wind would blow my hair and touch my face. It is not the winter wind anymore but the summer is yet to come. It was indeed a perfect night being seated in a cozy place with a guy whom I once dreamt to be a friend (or more than that) under the stars and before the rushing waves on the shore.

Light conversations came up while we are enjoying dinner. Good food. Good place. Perfect setting.

“Thank you for coming tonight. It was my great pleasure.”, he started.

I smiled. He was looking at me in the eye and there was the genuine feel of his presence beside me.

“Marge, I know that there was something I left before I was gone last year. I am deeply sorry. I really do not know where to start or when to stop saying sorry. I hope it wasn’t too late for me to do this.”

Do I need to hide my true self now? His words strucked me. Oh, yes, there was something he left before he’s gone – and that was me. I was left hanging all alone. I waited each day hoping that he will remember me because I believed him when he told me that he likes me and he feels something special towards me. Because I feel the same. And I was left with questions that I cannot find the answers when all of the sudden, he stopped calling me and I cannot reach him anymore. A few times I tried dialing his number and I failed to contact him. Then I stopped trying.

I was already freaking out with all the questions in my head why he’s gone and out of reach. Thoughts like something bad happened, or he got sick, or had an accident, or maybe he got married, or had a better job in another country, and many more. To shut myself up, I satisfied myself thinking that he doesn’t want me to be a part of his life. I tried to let go. But thinking of him in every waking hour of my life is inevitable.

I looked out in the shore, taking my eyes from his. I am not sure if I can take the moment without getting emotional. I would try hard not to. I rise from my seat and walked a few steps away from the table facing the shore. A better way to conceal my teary eyes.

“Is there anything that you need to tell me?”, I asked him in a soft voice.

The wind blew gently. He followed me and stood beside me. We’re both in front of nature and I can feel the presence of the Almighty like He’s looking directly at us and listening to our hearts.

“It has been foolish the way I talked to you that one night in December when I asked you to go out with me and you refused because it’s already late but still, I endlessly insisted. I honestly don’t know how to apologize for wanting something that I know would scare you off. And when you finally said ‘yes’ to meet me that same night after compromising that we can meet and talk near your place, I just preferred to drink with my friends who came over .”

I recalled that night, vividly.

“Remember, I called you again in the morning and asking you to see me. Again, it was a fool of me to ask you to skip work. It’s unreasonable and I understand your refusal. And after then, I haven’t had the courage anymore..”

I kept my ears open. I can feel that he’s got more to tell.

“Until you send me the message that you don’t want to spoil what’s between us then because we were just starting the friendship and I’m beginning to earn your trust. I am the one who spoiled everything and I wanted to make it right this time.”

“I lost your number because I lost my phone. I don’t know where to reach you. It’s only then that I realized how easy it is to lose a person and not care anymore but in time, I realized that you are the one that I was looking for and I’ve been crazy for not knowing how to find you.”

“Mid last year, I went home with the request of my parents and they asked me to get engaged with a girl from my country. You know very well our culture is like this but I said ‘no’ and I was firm with that. I pleaded my father that I will get married to a girl whom I love and in time, I will bring her to them. I am thankful that my father granted my plea and freed me to go back here.”

“I never stopped looking for ways to find you. I almost asked every person from your country if they know a person by your name ‘Marge’. It is all I got. I also traced from the tours their clients on that date we met but I failed. And I even befriended one guy in the telecom to help me find your number.” Deep sighs in between. “I called all the numbers he supplied me but there was no you.”

I don’t want to pass my judgment on him. Because my heart may be blinded by what I am feeling but my mind is taking control.

“Something inside is telling me to push harder. I am getting crazy because it was too long already and I am afraid that you might not be here anymore. I prayed hard and hoped hard.”

“I frequented the malls near your place in the evenings and weekends, but I didn’t come across you. I also went back to the safari desert a number of times hoping to find you there again. Until this telecom guy gave me three more numbers just the other day, with different names close to yours. I called them all and to end my search, after a year time, the last of the three numbers was yours.”

I looked at him and not knowing what to say, I held his hand with mine and pressed it with my lips. I’m not sure if I can fight my tears. I looked away again. I can feel my body shaking while my heart beats harder. This is not the moment to hide whatever is there to be laid upon. I am so vulnerable.

He faced me, lifted my chin up and looked at me in the eyes. I cannot hold my tears back and I let it flow, which dampen the back of his hand.

“I am so sorry.” He whispered then wiped my tears from both eyes.

He understand I cannot speak. He draw me to his shoulders and kissed my forehead.

Again he whispered, “I cannot afford to lose you again. I will take care of you.”

It was the stars, the rushing sea and us. Sometimes, some things happen without knowing the reason why but I believe that the universe has its own way of bringing two people together in God’s own time. Not his, not mine.

***

Maybe sleep wouldn’t come tonight in my bed. I was lying for two hours and still, my eyes are not closing. I can hear his words over and over again. And feeling how he needs to find me so badly is enough to know his intentions.

I keep on wondering if this is the answer to my prayers. It would be too early to tell. I never had any clue that meeting him would lead on to something like this. This usually happens in movies with all the script carefully written to create a fairy-tale like atmosphere for the audience, but not in real life. Not here in the city where everybody can be anybody’s somebody. Where you meet one person now and never know where he is tomorrow. My mind is wandering around and I cannot stop reading the SMS he sent me after he got home.

It says, ‘I’ve waited for tonight to happen for so long. Trust that I mean it when I said that I will take care of you. Have a good night’s sleep, my dear.’

I remember him telling me ‘I Love You’s’ after we first met over a year ago. I told him to stop because it’s impossible to tell that he loves me after only meeting me a few times. Why is there a need to be lost? Why is there hope to strengthen us to hold on? Why the heart never gives up on love?

How much can you hold a person who means so much to you and never let him or her slip into your grasps? How much freedom do you have to express yourself and tell the world how much you care for someone? How much love can you give without the fear of being hurt and losing it all?

It’s 4am.

Thank God, it’s Friday.