Holiday Leftovers

From Creative Commons

 One more day and the new year will be here. This has always been the fastest round of the hands of the clock in the whole year. When it's already the 30th of December, I am always confused when exactly the New Year would come and before it'd sink in my mind that it will actually be on the next day - I'd start to realize that I do not have enough time anymore to prepare for it's coming.

I actually make myself more busy with what I'd leave behind with the year that will bid its goodbye.

As soon as the holiday season is in the air, I start planning what I have to do and how to accomplish them all in the most exciting and the busiest time of the year. For me, this is the time to let your loved-ones know how much you love them, the time to show your appreciation for those people who touched your life in a special  way, the time to express your gratitude for everyone who (in one way or another) have made you realize your dreams and wishes in life. And running down with the list of all that I have to do and all that I have to prepare, the days aren't enough to accomplish them all.

If the Three Wise Men have gold, frankincense and myrrh for our Lord Jesus Christ - I carry LOVE, APPRECIATION and GRATITUDE to give out to. They might look simple but I have to dig down deep to preserve its value. I prepare myself so I can give the gifts to the ones I love, to those I sincerely appreciate and grateful to.

I don't give gifts neither just for the sake of giving nor because it's the 'in' thing for the season. I give gifts because it shows my love, my appreciation and my gratitude to the receiver. It is carefully thought about, wanting to be sure that the receiver will be happy about it. But my gifts doesn't always come in glittering wraps for it is what's inside that counts. And it doesn't always comes in a box for it could also come in words written and thoughts well-expressed.

I have always wished that I may be able to tick everyone's name on my list before the year would end. My last option would be a quick phone call to a friend to whom I should say 'thank you' to before the big bang of the New Year. But there's always a few people I am leaving behind. Read that again because you've read it right. I wrote ".. I am leaving behind", and it is intentional. They're not the same people every year, but I always do not complete my list. 

It happens because I feel emotionally unresponsive due to uncertainties. There are words left to be said, words that would bring closure, words that could open possibilities but the sad part is having the "What if.." questions in my head. What if the words would be misunderstood or unaccepted? Ahhhhh. Leftovers.

I still have a few names to tick on my list and it's only a day before the New Year..