Quoting Myself..

"This is not a place to fall in love.
Everything here is temporary.
Make friends but don't trust much.
Spare yourself of the heartache you'll never need."

*Name of the place withheld for some reasons.

The Girl In Fairy Godmother's Eyes

"A good heart and a sensitive soul. A passionate lover and a bestfriend."

When I think of her as born under the sign of Libra, what comes to mind is definitely the concept of the balancing act, the person is trying to juggle all the balls without dropping any of them. Her life is dedicated to have all things in harmony and all relationships at peace. Of course this is a tall order to perform but it doesn’t stop her at taking the role of the peacekeeper even when she should keep out of it.

In her personal relationships, she shows understanding of the other person's point of view, trying to resolve any differences by compromise, and she is often willing to allow claims against herself to be settled to her own disadvantage rather than spoil a relationship. She likes the opposite sex and may indulge in romanticism bordering on sentimentality. Her marriages, however, stand a good chance of success because she frequently believe that she have found her soulmate.

In matters of the heart, she have a strong idea and fantasy of what true love is and she will constantly pursue this journey for her soul mate. However, she probably will experience heartaches on her search because she have such a clear vision of the perfect partner and she can easily be disillusioned by the imperfection of most other human beings.

Emotionally, she is always sensitive to the needs of others and have the gift, sometimes to an almost psychic extent, of understanding the emotional needs of her partner. She is a very social human being. She hates cruelty, violence and crudeness and detest conflict, so she’s doing her best to cooperate and compromise with everyone.

She can be changeable and indecisive, impatient of routine, and timid, too easygoing, seldom angry when circumstances demand a show of annoyance (at least); and yet she can shock everyone around them with sudden storms of rage.

She is not wishy-washy or indecisive as many would think. She just spend too much time weighing all the possibilities before making up her mind. And when she does, she is very determined, it just takes her so long because of her overly cautious analyses.

She have elegance, charm and good taste. She is naturally kind, very gentle, and a lover of beauty and harmony. But most importantly, she have a great judge of character and a passion for justice and equality for all.

She is more artistic than intellectual, though she’s too concerned about what others think and that she’s aren’t too avant-garde in any artistic endeavor. She have good perception and observation and her critical ability gives her work integrity.

Her greatest talents fall in the world of creativity. With her keen eye to color and symmetry, she would do very well from interior to fashion design, sculpturing, painting and especially acting. But she would also do very well with owning an art gallery or going into the investment field of collecting art.

She may think she is ordinary and she may look so-ordinary, but she knows how to dress and how to carry herself to appear striking and make heads turn. She have a magnetic and sexual allure compelling men to pursue her. She have no trouble attracting potential partners, it’s just that she might not even notice the attention because she is totally focused on her fantasy concept of love which can make her not notice the attention of her admirers.

She generally gave herself very good advice though she seldom followed it.

She may be as dainty as a fluffy, white bunny and she may whisper with gentle persuasion. She can dress in silks and laces, and her hair can smell of fragrant cologne. She might even look like a little doll you could lift with one hand. But with all her femininity, sweet mannerisms and lovely grace, this girl wears a pair of trousers with surprising ease, and they'll fit her rather neatly.

Aside from her typical fondness of weighing everything twice to make sure she didn't miss a point, she can be quite a lot of woman for a man who's interested in romance or companionship or both. Her tendency to argue is really based on a sincere desire to reach an impartial decision. It could be worse. At least, she doesn't make up her own rules as she goes along, or stubbornly resist all reason. Besides, most of her opinions are presented with diplomatic tact, which somewhat softens the blow.

If there's one thing she treasures above all else on this temporal earth, it's the man she’s chosen to love and honor.

She hates to play solitaire. Partnerships, in both business and romance, constitute her deepest need. With her, marriage is a joint venture, and the rules are almost as strict as those in a corporate setup. You are the president of the association, and you're honored as such. She's the chairman of the board, who will keep you from making mistakes, in her own feminine, protective way. Her nature is built for teamwork. She'll want to participate in as many of your interests and activities as possible. She's willing to entertain in her husband's behalf, and she's female enough to follow his lead when he wants to change his career, move to another city, or cultivate new friends. That's all his department. She's only there to smooth the way and be sure he doesn't goof anything by impulsive actions and ill-considered judgment.

You really have to give her credit. She has no desire to be a stone around her husband's neck. She simply wants to remove all the stones in his path. She's not nearly as domineering on the surface as she is inwardly, because the last thing she wants to do is make a lot of positive statements you can hold her responsible for later.

She offers her pearls of wisdom on a silver platter of charm and amiable suggestion. Her iron hand wears a soft, velvet glove, and she can nudge you off the wrong track and in the right direction so gently, you'll swear the switch was entirely your own idea.

There are many rewards when you're living with her. She'll never open your mail. It simply wouldn't occur to her to be so dishonorable. She'll never reveal your business secrets to your friends or embarrass you in front of your boss. She'll probably charm him into submission, too, with the same smile she used to melt your heart when you first met her. There will be moments when you'll wonder if she's an angel or devil, but the angels fight on her side more often than not.

You probably won't complain of lack of physical proof of her love, because she's as sentimental as old lace, and as affectionate as a woman has any right to be. She's always sincere about those sweet glances, tender touches, warm hugs and frequent kisses.

Her home may look like one of those magazine ads for wall-to-wall carpeting. The colors will harmonize, and the furniture will be in good taste. Pictures will hang straight, and meals will usually be served on time. You can also count on flowers on the table, good choice of china, candlelight, wine, soft music and a balanced menu. Taking into consideration her clever mind and her sparkling wit, there's not a whole lot more you could ask. Being a woman is sort of a lifetime occupation to her, and she's bound to arrive at perfection somewhere along the line.

She likes to talk. But she'll also make a flattering listener, when you have a need for a good audience. This woman is both tough and soft at the same time, and it's not every female who can manage that delicate balancing act.

What other woman could look like a princess when you take her to the ball, then turn right around, lace up her boots, zip up her red plaid lumber jacket, and help you saw logs for the fireplace? She has sweetness enough for the first and strength enough for the second.

She hates to be rude, yet she'll straighten the crooked picture on your wall and snap off your blaring TV sfft. She loves people, but they hate large crowds. Like gentle doves of peace, she goes around mediating and patching tip quarrels between others; still she enjoys a good argument herself. She is good natured and pleasant, but she can also be sulky. She’s a wonderful listener. She’s restless. But she seldom rush or hurry. Are you completely confused? You're not alone. There's a frustrating inconsistency to her that puzzles everyone.

Lots of people will tell you that she is all love and beauty and sweetness and light. That's fine, as far as it goes, but don't ever think that she is always perfectly balanced. Never again will you have a mental picture of her as a calm, perfectly balanced, sweet, gracious and charming individual. You'll have a mental picture of a person who has that kind of disposition half the time. The other half of the time, she can be annoying, quarrelsome, stubborn, restless, depressed and confused. She is first up, then down. She swings one way, then another. Suddenly, like the scales-perfect balance! It's heavenly. But there is always that period of weighing and dipping before the moment of heavenly balance is achieved.

Even when she is angry, somehow, she will manage to look mild, or at the very least, neutral. She has a typically sweet voice and it is clear as a bell, and she would seldom raise them to a shrill or bellowing pitch. She’s the only one who can say, "I hate you and I'm going to punch you in the nose," and sound as if she's reciting Browning's "How Do I Love Thee?"

Now you might think that to be born attractive, to seek fairness and loveliness, to be pleasing and easily pleased, is a blessing. You might imagine that gentleness and intelligence, grace and understanding are the gifts of her fairy godmother. You might be right. When her scales are balanced, it’s utterly delightful, like meeting an angel from paradise. The problem is the fairy godmother! She keeps rapping one side of her scales with her wand and then the other, making this girl dip back and forth. She can't seem to make up her fickle mind whether she made a mistake or not, and she passed her indecision on to this beautiful creature.

Not Ordinary

I was trying to clean up my stuff the other day and found some old floppy discs stored in a shoe box. I rushed to the nearest internet cafe to check if the discs are still readable and to my luck, I have saved some archives of my thoughts and this is one of them.. expect more to come! :-)  -posted 02 June 2010

***

Written:  09 April 2002

One of  those busy days while I’m in a bus on my way home, I witnessed love in it’s simplest sense. I am deeply touched and I suddenly realized how much simplicity is worth as long as there is love in our hearts.

It was the Annex stop-over at SM West, North EDSA when this certain couple got up the same bus I was riding on. They were not the usual commuter, I could say, and they’re not ordinary. They have with them, I think, their 2-year old boy.

They’re not ordinary. Why? Because they’re not in the usual jeans & shirts or the casual office attire, they don’t have bags or organizers or portfolio’s, they don’t have cellphones in their hands or in their pocket, the guy is not in his shoes & the girl is not in the common slip-ons most ladies wear these times and they don’t have plastic bags from the department store. All they have was each other and their little boy.

Why such curiosity that took my interest? Because they’re out of the ordinary. And it was a pleasure for me to watch them for a few minutes and out of luck, yes it’s luck, I think – that they settled near my seat in the aisle. They were standing at first because  the bus was already full and after a while, the girl got her seat on the opposite side on my row.

The girl could just be in her teens, maybe around 17  or 18. She’s got  a tan-complexion, maybe 5’1” or less, no make-ups, not even a powder or a lip gloss.  Her hair falls just below the ears and clipped at one side. She’s wearing an ordinary “pambahay dress” with thin straps and with a length one-inch above her knees and plain rubberized slippers, not sandals but slippers. There was innocence in her face and there wasn’t even a slight trace of any worry on her. She looks fragile but it was obvious that she’s taken care of by the boy she’s with. The way she looks at her little boy reflects her love & warmth. I could feel just by looking at her, that she is a good mother.

The boy was also too young to shoulder  such  responsibility.  He’s just on a plain white sando and a denim purontong and  also on his rubber slippers.   His built reflects hardwork. If  I will judge him with my bare sight – there is something that tells me this boy would do everything to raise his family and he’ll make a good provider.

Their simplicity moved me. They don’t rush like all the other passengers who’s faces are in a frown because of the traffic. There is no cellphone to divert their attention to. There is no wristwatch to tie them with time. There is peace within themselves which I can  see through by just looking at them.

The thought is really touching.  I wonder how our lives could be so complicated and all when we can slow down a bit, look inside our hearts and create love in its simplest form.

They’re not ordinary because there is something special within them. It is the love in their hearts that makes them out of the ordinary. It is simple love. Special love.

How sweet their sleep… how happy their hearts.

All because of  a simple, yet special love.

Quoting Myself

"MEANT means it simply has to happen no matter what boundaries in time and space would ever be present as a barrier. It is an uncontrollable force that can be interferred by nothing and no one. In the right place and in the right time, even out of this world and not of this lifetime; there will come a time where two souls will come to meet - someday, somewhere.. and they’d know that they are “meant” to be."

Crizanne Mae

Witnessed by the morning sun right after dawn

A picture of beauty beyond comparison

One gentle cry created a lullabye, a song

Joy of my heart and pride of my life… My Newborn.

Born out of love from two hearts that united then

A dream once caressed in playful fantasies, a gem

Now, a reality dressed in charm and grace

To grow in meekness and modesty, respect and chaste… My Princess.

Beneath every endeavor surpassed all throughout

An inspiration to lighten up the burden of heart

To impart warmth in the cold, dark night

With subtle touch, you will grow in love… My Baby.

Two lost souls have knotted before you came

A home where two hearts forever will stay

Friendship to rule and love to reign

Triumphs and hardships will be dealt fair… My Friend.

Listen and hear my heart  whisper your name

You’ll never be lost, He will guide your way

All through your life – as endless as forever

My love will flow unceasingly there…

From my heart to yours… from today till forever –

“I Love You, Crizanne Mae.”

Because of love you were born… and through love you will live.

Shadows

Barefooted soul comes at the risk of the dawn

Wandering through images of what the morning sun borne

Fleets of hope marveled then gently had gone

The wind above southeast had flown.

 

Regretful of romance that came halfway then

Memories drawn are but silhouettes of the past

No more looking back for it would just hurt

Second chances have all been gone.

 

Dreams had flown through the horizon

Every little wish had fell from the skies

The wounds strengthened the innocence of heart

And no place for blame was ever known.

 

Yesterday had gone at the rise of the sun

Laughters have all been heard; tears have all been poured

Everything that matters are now shadows where I stand

Not a single pain remains to hold me back.

An Ode To An Artist

*Composed for a good friend who discovered my artistic 'talent' back in college days. 

***

In deep silence,

Voices taunts your ears -

You hear what they cannot hear..

In the darkest shade,

Colours flows and blends -

You see what they cannot see..

One chaotic world we live in -

A paradise in your eyes

Music and color embraces your soul..

Feet dancing, voices singing..

Do, re, mi tunes on air

A guitar string's plucked

Better get your sticks

And bang up a drum.

You can walk over the rainbow,

Your mind wander beyond the clouds

No, you aren't living in dreams

For your feet lies flat on the ground.

A leaf fall, birds hum a song

Pick a pen and write a poem

Few lines may come before dawn

Tomorrow's memories are born.

Melancholy is a companion

There lies in you -

A great power of imagination.

Tears might not show the hurt,

And a smile couldn't mean you're glad..

They laugh at you at times

They just don't understand why..

The artist in you breaks out -

And that's what I admire in you

No doubt.

Look at the work of your hands -

You are gifted, stand proud..

But never ever forget the Lord above.

Now, as you face your crossroad ahead -

Grab a brush.. paint a canvas,

And create a masterpiece -

Out of your life.