Holiday Leftovers

From Creative Commons

 One more day and the new year will be here. This has always been the fastest round of the hands of the clock in the whole year. When it's already the 30th of December, I am always confused when exactly the New Year would come and before it'd sink in my mind that it will actually be on the next day - I'd start to realize that I do not have enough time anymore to prepare for it's coming.

I actually make myself more busy with what I'd leave behind with the year that will bid its goodbye.

As soon as the holiday season is in the air, I start planning what I have to do and how to accomplish them all in the most exciting and the busiest time of the year. For me, this is the time to let your loved-ones know how much you love them, the time to show your appreciation for those people who touched your life in a special  way, the time to express your gratitude for everyone who (in one way or another) have made you realize your dreams and wishes in life. And running down with the list of all that I have to do and all that I have to prepare, the days aren't enough to accomplish them all.

If the Three Wise Men have gold, frankincense and myrrh for our Lord Jesus Christ - I carry LOVE, APPRECIATION and GRATITUDE to give out to. They might look simple but I have to dig down deep to preserve its value. I prepare myself so I can give the gifts to the ones I love, to those I sincerely appreciate and grateful to.

I don't give gifts neither just for the sake of giving nor because it's the 'in' thing for the season. I give gifts because it shows my love, my appreciation and my gratitude to the receiver. It is carefully thought about, wanting to be sure that the receiver will be happy about it. But my gifts doesn't always come in glittering wraps for it is what's inside that counts. And it doesn't always comes in a box for it could also come in words written and thoughts well-expressed.

I have always wished that I may be able to tick everyone's name on my list before the year would end. My last option would be a quick phone call to a friend to whom I should say 'thank you' to before the big bang of the New Year. But there's always a few people I am leaving behind. Read that again because you've read it right. I wrote ".. I am leaving behind", and it is intentional. They're not the same people every year, but I always do not complete my list. 

It happens because I feel emotionally unresponsive due to uncertainties. There are words left to be said, words that would bring closure, words that could open possibilities but the sad part is having the "What if.." questions in my head. What if the words would be misunderstood or unaccepted? Ahhhhh. Leftovers.

I still have a few names to tick on my list and it's only a day before the New Year..

Commitment

I am attending the Simbang Gabi masses and days before it started, I planned to complete the 9 nights of it, that is, before the mass for Christmas. I mentioned 'night' because it is held at night in my part of the world. There is no pre-dawn masses here.

I 'planned' to complete the 9 nights of it..

Another way of saying it could be, 'I will attend the masses as much as my time would permit,' or 'I will attend the masses if I don't have other things to do or  if I don't have anywhere else to go.' From the sound of it, going for the Simbang Gabi mass would be my second option.

Now that Christmas is fast approaching and everyone is preoccupied with all the preparations for the get-together's and parties, it will be a little hard to manage time on weekends and after office hours as we need a lot of time to go shopping for new personal stuff and gifts. This only mean that it's a little hard to squeeze-in the Simbang Gabi masses in our daily schedule, much more to think that it ends a day before the big 'C' Day and that's also the time that our shopping must be complete.

Whoever needs to review time management?

Last night was was my 5th Simbang Gabi mass and I have not missed any just yet from Night 1, and there will only be 4 more nights to go. Chances are, I'd complete the 9 Simbang Gabi masses this year. But what if chances doesn't permit?

If I attended the previous 5 nights in a row, without being absent and without being late - what message do you think am I trying to send from here? 

My dear friends, I changed my plan of 'planning' to complete the 9 nights of it. I did not plan anymore after the 1st night. 

I made a commitment, instead. I committed myself to complete the 9 nights of it. I gave my commitment to God. I gave my commitment to the Lord.

The Simbang Gabi is now my priority, above anything else. I may have lack time to do my shopping and to complete the gifts for everyone in my list but I can do all that later. Though the nicey stores are closed at 10 in the evening and that's about the time the mass is ending, I need to find ways to squeeze-in shopping and everything else that needs to done or anything else that needs to be attended to. After all, I have to thank the Giver first for the blessings He bestow upon me before I splurge them out.

Commitment for me is not having second-thoughts,  no backing-outs and no changing of mind. It means standing to what I have committed with no matter what.  It is doing what I have committed to do without any excuses and not only when circumstances permits. It is a self-imposed obligation and a promise I made to myself that must not be broken.

Paskong Pinoy

(A Filipino Christmas)

www.wacom-asia.com/communitycontests/entry.php...il&id=884

In the land of the fun-loving and warm-hearted people, it is true that Filipinos celebrates Christmas the longest and the merriest amongst all the nations of the world.

As soon as the 'Ber' months would start, you can already hear us Filipinos start talking about Christmas. 'Pasko na,' you can hear us saying, which means 'It's Christmas!'  As early as September, Christmas songs are playing in the radio and everybody starts to plan how they will celebrate Christmas with their families. It is not a surprise when somebody would just greet you 'Maligayang Pasko po' or 'Merry Christmas' as early as this month. We start digging the last year's Christmas decors and hang them around the house. The Christmas Tree adorned with various ornaments which usually glitters and the tiny multi-colored dancing lights will never go out of the scene in every house, and of course, the famous 'Parol' (Christmas lantern), which represents the guiding star of Bethlehem, would be hanging by the house windows in the neighborhood that's usually in the shape of the star. The 'Belen' (Nativity Scene) would either be inside the houses by the hall, or in the garden.

This is the time of the year when family gathers. Those who are working and residing abroad makes it a point to take their yearly vacation during this time and spend it in the Philippines to be with their family and reunite with relatives and friends.

We will start planning family clan and class reunions left and right which is mostly set on the month of December. There will be the reunion of the families on the mother side  of the family and a separate one on the father side. High school and college class reunions will be called. Christmas parties will be held from work, homeowner's association, organizations and from groups in which you are a member of. And there will be hundredths of gifts to exchange with.

We start making a list of all our 'inaanak's' (Godchildren), nephews and nieces to give gifts to. This is also true for our parents, close relatives like aunts and uncles, cousins and friends. We always find the budget as much as we could to give as much gifts as we can to show the appreciation that we have for the special people in our lives. We always find the effort and the energy to prepare all the gifts for everyone weeks and days before Christmas Day, but still ends up battling with the Christmas rush, like it never ends.

Flea markets or the so-called 'tiangge' would sprout like mushrooms everywhere. Because it is a season of gift-giving, this time of the year defines the height of the retail business. Malls are extending their store hours 'til midnight to accomodate all the shoppers and the slow traffic in the major roads of the city would really steal your precious sleeping hours.

Christmas carolers would go from house to house to serenade each household with joyful Christmas songs from the very first day of December. The carolers could be as young as five-to seven year-olds with their DIY tambourines made of 'tansan' (cola bottle caps) pressed flat with a hammer or stone and strung in a piece of wire tying two ends together forming a round shape. They does not care whether they know the song lyrics as long as the song can be recognized by the tunes they make. Some teens also form groups from the neighborhood and bring guitars and tambourines and sing beautiful carols around. Some professional groups sends notice beforehand to the household that they will serenade. When carolers come at our doorstep, we usually come out of the house and watch them as they sing a few carols. All the carolers would sing a Thank You song with a good wish for the whole family after we hand out some amount of money. This is their way of soliciting funds that they will use for their Christmas parties or to give to charitable institutions around town.

Filipinos are so fond of having the 'Monito-Monita' or 'Kris Kringle' in school and at work a few days before Christmas. The thrill of picking a name and keeping it secret and giving themed gifts everyday to whom you picked makes the season really exciting. Day after day, a 'something' will be announced for a theme and we have to find a gift to our 'Monita' according to that. This is the opportunity to be creative in choosing a cheap gift that is according to the theme and the challenge is to keep yourself the secret giver until the final gift will be given which is usually done in the Christmas Party.

The 'Simbang Gabi' or the Pre-dawn/Midnight masses are held in each of  the 9 days before Christmas either in early morning before the break of the dawn or in the late evening before midnight until the Christmas Eve on the 24th. The sound of the church bell will be heard in the neighborhood calling in those who will attend the mass. It has been customary for the Filipinos to attend this masses showing our true devotion to our faith  as we prepare ourselves for the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. Also, most Filipino's ask for special favors believing that if we complete all the nine masses in a row, our wishes will be granted. We come in hundredths and thousands crowding the full church compound and the late comers would have to  stay outside the gates of the church because there will be no more place for you to stand inside. The church is adorned with lights and big lanterns  and even giant Christmas trees. Food vendors, who usually have pre-packed goodies and some hot stuff like the famous 'bibingka' (flour and egg cakes cooked on top and under), 'puto-bumbong' (purple colored rice pastry,steamed in bamboo tubes and seasoned with grated coconut and brown sugar) and hot cocoa drinks, are all lined-up outside the church getting ready for the flood of people who will buy their goodies right after the mass.

'Panunuluyan' or the re-enactment of Joseph and Mary's search for shelter where the latter could give birth to Jesus is being done on Christmas Eve, before the onset of the Misa de Gallo.  After the mass, families will have a feast called 'Noche Buena' in their homes. Typically, there will be a Queso de Bola, a round of ham, pancit noodles and various sweets in the dining table to be shared by the whole family. This will be followed by gift-giving or the exchanging of gifts within the family.

Santa Claus plays a huge part of the celebration as the kids believe that this white-bearded fat guy with eye glasses will drop by  the house, with his sleigh being pulled by reindeers, to fill the socks that they hung with toy gifts. The children are convinced to sleep early so they can wake up at midnight to see what Santa Claus had bought them while they were sleeping. This image of Santa Claus' formed in the children's mind is a motivation for them to do good the whole year through, as they are made to believe that this fat guy in the red suit always watch them whether they're naughty or nice.

In the morning of Christmas, the kids will visit their 'Ninong's & Ninang's' (Godfather & Godmother) to kiss their hands as customary. The Godparents would have their gifts ready for their 'inaanak' (Godchild) and there are times that cash gifts are given, as the others are too busy to prepare gifts for everyone. In the provinces, small children go from house-to-house knocking and saying, 'Tao po, namamasko nga po', which means that they are asking for some Christmas treat and they will be given a few pesos to share or some candies and sweets to eat. Close family friends and relatives also give gifts to each other especially to the children. In the afternoon of the day, you can see them summing up how much gift and cash they received.

Everyone have their doors open on Christmas Day signifying that all relatives and friends are welcome to drop by to exchange Christmas greetings and wishes with the host. There is an abundance of food served on the table all day like an eat-all-you can buffet. This is a day when we forget how being hungry feels as every stomach is full from the 'Noche Buena' til the close of the day.

Family gatherings are done usually after Christmas Day or before the New Year. Families of the clans gather to share one full day of happiness and entertainment. The kids are showered with 'aguinaldo's' from the elders in the form of small bills where they are made to line-up to receive their share one by one.

Christmas Parties in the offices usually starts with a Holy Mass, with a priest being invited to come over the venue to be followed by a program of presentations from the different departments of the company in which they practice their performances weeks before, a dinner, a raffle wherein a line-up of prizes are at stake and each employee will go home with a bagful or two of pre-packed food grocery items for the household.

All the days after the 25th of December is still considered Christmas until the Feast of the Three Kings or the Epiphany as it marks the end of the season. Only until then that the house decors will be gathered down again to be kept safely in the boxes for next year.

Forget about snow. Filipinos doesn't have white Christmas-ses, instead, we enjoy a snowful of happiness and colorful holidays all throughout the season. 

For Filipinos, Christmas is the most celebrated, respected and awaited event of the year. It is spending the season together with family and friends as we shower it with carols, gifts, foods and lights to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. And it is with pride that I  could say that the true spirit of Christmas is deeply instilled within the hearts of the Filipinos that goes beyond all the glitter and material things.

All of this makes up the Filipino Christmas tradition as each of the above completes the spirit of Christmas.
Maligayang Pasko po sa inyong lahat!
(Merry Christmas to you all!)

Where is Our Faith?

At one point (or another) in our lives, we go through the low and depressing times that we cannot accept and forgive ourselves. We see ourselves fail as we hit the ground so hard and times are just as pressing that we struggle to stand up again but no matter what we do, we just cannot make it right. The opportunities to recover are so scarce. We need some light to shine upon us but like all the other days, a thick flock of cloud is covering our part of the skies.

We appear to lose hope, though we are convincing ourselves that we are still hanging on even at its thinest thread. We face the world each day heads up with a forced smile and with a faux courage. We pretend to be fine though deep down inside - there lies a broken heart, a shattered dream and a hopeless soul. 

It is so hard to figure things out by ourselves alone. We call out for help and yet no one seem to hear us. Advices from family and friends are pouring in our ears but do we ever hear them? Why can't we realize that we closed-off ourselves inside a shell and no matter how others reach out to help, we cannot welcome them in. The world did not turned it's back on us. The people who loves us are standing outside our door waiting for us to turn the key. 

***

Where is our faith?

Faith is what will lift us to stand, it will push us forward and it will motivate us to take that first step to go out of the mess in our lives. It is also the persistence that we will have after.

Faith is believing that things will go right soon.

Faith is a genuine smile despite our broken hearts.

Why don't we trust?

In Matthew 14:22-36, Peter said, “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water.” And the Lord replied, “Come.”  (Matt. 14:28)

It's simple. When we learn to trust, we trust blindly. We don't need proofs, justifications or conditions. We just put ourselves out there without thinking what would happen to us, without worrying about the consequences that would result from it and without a single doubt.

It's either we trust 100% or not at all.

***

We lose the person we love either by death or by distance or by them walking out of our lives. There are reasons why they did not make it in our future but having them as a part of our past defines the kind of person that we are now. We should be thankful for the gifts they brought in our lives.

We lost the job that we depend on greatly and we regard such as a misfortune. But we have not thought of the greater opportunities out there for us.

Whenever a storm would hit our lives, let's always remember that God will not give us a load that we cannot carry. But despite knowing this and there will still be a point that the burden becomes so heavy to carry, we can just lift our heads to Him and let Him take it all.

It is ironic that the tough times I had in my life are the ones that taught me to trust that all is well, that all is going according to plan, that there is a bigger picture and that  life is unfolding as it should. It brought me the understanding that I need to pass through all of the hardships and to carry the load God gave me to prepare myself to go in a place where He wants me to be. 

I am living on the edge of everything at the moment but I stopped worrying about what tomorrow will bring. Despite my current troubles, I know that I will be safe because Someone up there is taking care of me. If you would not call it 'Faith',  I don't know what to call it then. But that's what makes me sleep soundly at night. 

We must contain our faith. We must believe. We must trust. 

Quoting Myself

"Goodbye means someone has to go or something has to end. Or someone will go or something will end. Or someone will not come back and something will not happen anymore. Sad, indeed!"

Autumn

By TsoCo Lat

30 October 2010

The autumn leaves are scattered all over now. The picture of bright yellows and oranges on a clear sky never leaves her eyes, all crisp and sharp. It was always her favorite time of the year though she cannot tell exactly why this season between summer and winter feels so comforting to her. She can just sit on the park benches  with her pen and notebook and write about anything that she can think of. Autumn was always in her writings and it was the most common theme she uses in her art.

She is alone in this life now. And she had been since her  parents have died from a road accident when she was nine. It was after her mother performed  in another state for a show. Her mother is a professional violinist and she grew watching her and wished to be like her one day. Playing the violin was so close to her heart and considered the instrument her playmate at a very young age of three.  All those years, she does not want to do anything but weave music in the air with her violin. 

\***

She then picked her bow and carefully placed it in the bow holder inside the case. Her violin was laying there peacefully, seemingly tired from the day’s practice. The performance night is still a month away but they were both in pretty good condition now. Ready and inspired.

It was her childhood dream to perform in a theatre, she cannot wait to see the crowd in front of her applause continuously. She always loved playing the violin. Its sound is the only music she knows but not until her mother left with her lover and never came back. She was left alone in the world at a young age of nine. She was hurt.

The maestro with the house beside theirs looked after her all these years and he kept convincing her to continue playing. But she totally stopped. She lived in a quiet world of her own. Not until she graced an occasion where the maestro asked her to go.

“I need a muse,” he told her. “You would not want me to go there alone. The officials will be there, the artists, the businessmen.. all with their wives and muses. I don’t have anyone. So you must go with me, my pretty darling.”

She is never interested in gracing social occasions. Though she knew almost everyone in town, she doesn’t like looking at their faces one by one to return their faux smiles. She enjoys doing her recreational interests alone and in silence where she can put the whole of her heart and soul to it.

Aside from being the maestro’s ‘daughter’, she writes and paints. She had the most recognition in arts at school and being an entertaining writer in the primary paper in town, everyone knows her, too. The maestro believes that in time, she will find in her heart the desire to play the violin again for it is innate in her. And nobody, not even the world, can change that.

***

At 24, she was a rose in full bloom. For 15 years, the maestro treated her like a real daughter.

After every recital, she will look up in the skies and smile. She knows that her mother is proud of her. If only she was here.

There he goes again, getting his act together and not showing any emotion. Always refusing to feel what he should. But his touch was the warmest.

***

And the violin plays.

He walked in the farther direction. His shadow slowly fades. He left without saying goodbye. And she knows that he will never come back. She knows that there won’t be another time.

She was staring blankly at the window.. and felt the warm tears running on her cheeks.

And there was the maestro at the dusk of the dawn ???, with his music playing in the hills.

A lonely drawling tone.

Celebrate but Stop Counting!

http://www.creative-candle.net/

Birthdays! People seemed to be celebrating birthdays everyday this month as much as I notice or maybe because it’s also my birthday month. Okay, that may be like an announcement but this post is not intended for that. But well, I would not mind greetings of any sort. Now, I seem to lose the direction of my  thoughts! It just so happened that I have a lot of friends  and acquaintances that’s born in this month. That’s why October has always been a happy month for me.

A new colleague of mine will be celebrating her 27^th birthday by the weekend and I greeted her in advance. We had a little chat while in the queu for the copier. She told me that she’s not really excited about celebrating her birthday because it only mean that she’s getting a year older. Well, that seems to be the dreadful part of having birthdays but on a deeper thought, it should mean that we are a year more experienced, a year more matured and a year more fulfilled.

I told my colleague, “Celebrate but stop counting!”

There are countless reasons to celebrate our birthday each year. Come to think of it. It’s a year of hardwork in our career, a year of success, a year of happiness, a year of fulfillment, a year of new experiences, a year of challenges, a year of exciting moments, a year of surprises, a year of additional knowledge & wisdom and a year of fun. On the other hand, if we had a year of heartaches, a year of failure, a year of sad times, a year of loss or a year with a negative aura – then the year ahead would be an opportunity to welcome the positive energy we never had in the previous year. It would mean another year of welcoming opportunities and creating the road towards where we want to be and accomplish what we want to become.

The figures? They’re just numbers. We can forget them and just live seizing every moment of each passing day.

And what’s a birthday without a cake? Of course we have to blow a candle. That’s where birthday wishes are said. So, have a cake with a candle but make sure that it’s only a single candle there. Let the other stuff like the icings, the sugar flowers and the toppings cover your cake but not with a number of candles that tells your age. And a no-no to a number candle!

There is one quote that says, “The more you celebrate life, the more is there in life to celebrate.” This explains why we should not stop celebrating.

I celebrate my day every year but I already stopped counting at 28. Wink-wink!

Happy Birthday everyone!!!

Shalom!

I’ve just greeted you ‘Peace!’

The Hebrews greet each other with the word ‘Shalom’, that is corresponding to a hello and goodbye. It may also connote that you are greeting the other person and asking if all is okay with them. In English terms, we used to greet people with “Hello! How are you?”

‘Shalom’ is a biblical word meaning peace, completeness and welfare. It is equivalent to ‘Salaam’ in Arabic.

We greet people in a lot of ways.. and especially if we visit a new place or country, we have a tendency to adapt to their language and try to twist our tongues to use their native greetings. But how much do we mean of the word that’s coming out of our lips?

When we ask people the question, ‘How are you?’, are we really interested to know how they really are? Or has it just become the usual greeting that we use and being really concerned or not about the welfare of the other person is disregarded most of the time.

When we say ‘Shalom’ or ‘Salaam’, do we really mean peace to them?

I believe that no matter what language we use, we should be sincere in the greetings that we give to people. Let’s not ask how they are if we’re not really concerned or interested to know. Let’s not say ‘Shalom’ or ‘Salaam’ if we don’t intend to give them what the words really mean.

Just say ‘Hi’ or ‘Hello’ and it’s gonna be just fine.

So, how are you, my dear friends?

I am 'sincerely' interested to know.

---

Shalom, in the liturgy and in the transcendent message of the Christian scriptures, means more than a state of mind, of being or of affairs. Derived from the Hebrew root shalam – meaning to be safe or complete, and by implication, to be friendly or to reciprocate. Shalom, as term and message, seems to encapsulate a reality and hope of wholeness for the individual, within societal relations, and for the whole world. To say joy and peace, meaning a state of affairs where there is no dispute or war, does not begin to describe the sense of the term. Completeness seems to be at the center of shalom as we will see in the meaning of the term itself, in some derivatives from its root, shalam, in some examples of its uses in Jewish and Christian Scriptures, and in some homophone terms from other Semitic languages.   

The noun shalom means safe, for example, well and happy. On a more abstract application, its use points to welfare, for example, health, prosperity, and, peace. In the verb form shalam, though, that provides a deeper understanding of this term in theology, doctrine, and liturgy. Literally translated, shalam signals to a state of safety, but figuratively it points to completeness. In its use in Scripture, shalom describes the actions that lead to a state of soundness, or better yet wholeness. So to say, shalom seems not to merely speak of a state of affairs, but describes a process, an activity, a movement towards fullness. Using the King James Version as reference, James Strong lists the rendering of shalom and shalam, among others, as: • To make amends • To make good • To be (or to make) peace • To restore • Peace • Prosperity • Wellness • Wholeness

-From Wikipedia

Smart Munchies

The idea started from having to place additional information to a few of my posts which is relevant to the thought I am writing. Though this is not really necessary to an informal blog, it would be beneficial for us to read a few more lines that would feed our brains.

To see all the posts with this bulb icon, you can click on the 'Smart Munchies' under Labels on the right side of your screen.

The Hippocampus

When it comes to brain parts, we always remember the ever famous hypothalamus and neocortex. But here's another part that should get into the limelight: The Hippocampus.

This is the part of  the brain which is all about memory and a little about learning. It's primary role is in memory formation, classifying information, long-term memory. Like the RAM in your computer it processes and stores new and temporary memory for long term storage. It's also involved in interpreting incoming nerve signals and spatial relationships.

 http://www.brainhealthandpuzzles.com/brain_parts_function.html

Quoting Myself

"Sometimes in our lives, we still wish for things that we know we cannot get or that cannot happen or that cannot be ours. When we want something so much, we don’t let go of the littlest of hope, we never let it die. Because somewhere in our hearts, we believe that miracles do happen.

And they do happen.. to some of us.. sometimes."

Quoting Myself

"We come to a decision after wasting an enormous amount of time thinking & weighing all that matters. Once we have 'that' decision, we must push ourselves to move forward and take the risks that comes along. Moving forward is always stepping out of our comfort zones and going back is always easy to do. But we really don't have to. God is always with us. He is behind us to push us forward, beside us to walk with us, in front of us to lead us, and over us to bless us. We must not fear."

Random Thoughts

Had it ever happened to you when you wanted to stop thinking but your mind couldn’t? When you’re so confused and could not decide what to do or where to go? When you know that there shouldn’t be questions like these but still you keep on asking yourself? When the only thing for you to do is to rest your body, close your eyes and sleep?

But you couldn’t.

And you lose precious hours of sleep and there is nothing else to look forward to but one drowsy day ahead.

You keep on thinking.. hard. As if it could change what you know is certain to happen.

Maybe I should stop. And maybe I should get some sleep.


When the only thing left to do is to let go.

Quoting Myself

"We cannot frame each moment of our lives. It will only pass and then gone forever. That's exactly the purpose of my writings. To keep them alive and fresh, I bind them in words wherein I can picture them as vivid as the exact moment it happened."

Posted in blogcatalog.com

Caught in a Bad Romance (She wants your love!)

Your heart is breaking and you’re listening to ‘Feels Like Home’. Is that some sort of self-healing or theraphy? Can a love song soothe your broken heart? But how could you find comfort when the song only makes you hope on something that appears so bleak? “Something in your eyes makes me wanna lose myself.. in your arms..” Ahhh! You are so in-love! “Something in your voice makes my heart beat fast.. hope this feeling last for the rest of my life..” Well, it would surely last if you wouldn’t try to get rid of it.

The person who you thought is ‘The One’ doesn’t have any feeling of romantic affection towards you. How’s that? Talk about destiny and soulmates and that is all he’s not! You have felt all the magic and have seen all the chemistry and you are only waiting for him to..

“Time.. I’ve been passing time watching trains go by..” Tick-tock. Tick-tock. The clock is ticking and there’s not a single clue from him that he’s gonna tell you what you wanted to hear. Or what you’re hoping all your life to hear, or what you’re wishing so hard to hear, or what you’re fervently praying to hear. You already stripped a number of leaf from your calendar and still there’s nothing from him. You’re hanging on the thinnest thread of hope that you’ve got. ‘What if? What if he would?’, you say. “Something’s telling me it might be you..”

But what if he would not? What would happen to the months and years of emotional investment you had?

You have to accept that you could never be more than friends. Yes, “it must have been love..” but your fantasies should be over now. You could never be lovers and that you have to start letting go and try moving on. You may say “I know I’ll never love this way again..” but don’t hold on. Let go and love again. Maybe not exactly the same way but take yourself out there and love again.

Get out of your shell, out of your fantasies. Face the reality. Stop ‘preserving’ yourself for the hope that one day, he will realize that he feels the same way like you do. Open up yourself to others. Who knows? You might bump with your ‘Valentine’ just around the corner.

And please! Stop singing “I miss you like crazy.”