I Wish for...

It will take long to list all my wishes
But I'm sure that my King will grant
A love that's pure and healing
To rule in everybody's heart..

I'd like to wish for rainbows
And for some pots of gold
But I'd rather wish for peace
To spread thru the whole world..

Something that glitters would be lovely
But I would not really mind -
If my King will make all the stars
Sparkling up all night..

Shall I wish, my King, for angels -
To come down here and sing praises
To inspire us all with cheers
And fill our hearts with joy..

I wish for faith for the hopeless
And a home for the homeless
A shelter for every child on the street
And more than a penny for a beggar in need.

I have more wishes, my King
But how much more must I plea?
If none more, then this will be the last
And if you may, grant with your heart:

I wish my King be my friend
And I wish he will never forget
That once upon a December -
He met this Princess from somewhere..

Not Goodbye But Goodnight

Close your eyes, Daddy
And lay down to your rest,
We all know how much you're tired now-
Much more pain we wouldn't let.
Close your eyes now, Daddy
We'll all stand close by,
But we'll only say 'Goodnight, Daddy'
And not the sad goodbye.

Close your eyes now, Daddy
And worry for us no more,
The days ahead will be different-
But you'll just be up there for sure,
We know that you won't leave us
By closing your eyes we knew-
You'd be our angel in heaven
And you'll be watching us through.

Close your eyes now, Daddy
We'll have tears for a while,
As your presence here on Earth
Will be missed all the time,
But Daddy we assure you
That in our hearts you'll live,
So goodbye this is not gonna be-
But just goodnight in serenity.

Close your eyes now, Daddy
As we kiss you goodnight,
We'll hold your hand for the last time
But it will never be goodbye,
God awaits you in His embrace
While all the angels in Heaven sings-
Their hymns and praises as they welcome
Another child of our Almighty King.

-by TsoCo Lat-

15 October 2011

Daddy

I am away from home working abroad when my father, whom my sisters and I used to call 'Daddy',  was hospitalized due to Chronic Renal Failure. Since I was in elementary, he already sufferred from kidney stones and have undergone one operation.

There was two instances that stucked in my young memory how my father's life had been all about this stones.

First was when we were walking around the block down to our house in Manila when he suddenly stopped and folded his knees on the ground due to the abrupt pain on his lower side of the belly. I couldn't describe the look on his face and I run to our house shouting ''Mama''. I was like 7 or 8 years old then.

Second was after 5 or 6 years when he surprised us one day by showing up in front of our home when we all know that he's working abroad.  He never told anyone, even my Mama, that he's coming home that day. When we found out that he is sick and should undergo a kidney stone operation - that's when we understood why his coming home had been a surprise.

As I have been busy turning into an adolescent that time of my father's life, all I can remember is the scar that is visible on the lower left side of his tummy. The living scar that I believed had freed him from the pain. I have always looked at it with gladness because that scar means my Dad is okay.

But I was wrong. And I only realized that when he again started to have symptoms like the cloudy-brown urine which only means that there is again an infection in his urinary tract. He again suffered pain.

It was confusing at times why it is happening. My father  doesn't drink alcohol. He doesn't smoke (though I know smoking does not have anything to do with kidney stones). He eats home-cooked meal directly from our kitchen, cooked by my Mom. He kept a diet as advised by doctors. He also used to drink a tea made from 'sambong' leaves to help clean his urine. He drinks litres of water everytime. Litres! Enough to wash out the acids and toxins in his body that causes the infections.

But it doesn't end.

Being diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure now is a nightmare. And that is where he is now -- on a hospital bed without any sign of recovery. He has oxygen because he coughs continuously due to pneumonia. He had been ''tubed'' for a dialysis procedure to avoid the spreading of the toxins in his system. And lately, he had been ''tubed'' from the nose to his stomach to enable feeding.

As I am far away, my youngest sister keeps me up-to-date with our father's status and she writes this to me just a while ago..

     ''Our dad had been confined at the hospital for more than 2 weeks now due to chronic renal failure. His kidneys are not functioning properly that's why his creatinine levels are very high. The complications made the hemoglobin in his blood very low thus needing a blood transfusion from time to time. He is undergoing a series of hemodialysis 2 to 3 times a week to remove the toxins that poisons the blood. He is also suffering from pneumonia, his lungs had been filled with water which caused him to cough non-stop. The tubes in one of his lungs are not functioning anymore as the pulmonary doctor had said. He had a mild heart attack upon confinement 2 weeks ago. His hands and feet are swollen due to water retention and he seldom urinate.''

     ''He now feeds on a tube inserted from the nose to the stomach. He never sleep for the past 4 days, he only took naps. He talks a lot and hums melodies while eyes are closed. He sings a lot yesterday. He even puts the pain that he feels into a song... 'parang andami dw bata at alambreng umiikot s likod nya' (seems like there's a lot of little kids playing and cable wires going round and round his back) ... He thanks all the friends and relatives visiting him in a song with a happy tune, 'Salamat,salamat sa inyo.. Dinalaw,dinalaw niny0 ako.." (Thank you, thank you to all of you for visiting me). Daddy is not capable to speak properly now... but he still responds by nodding or turning his head slightly from side to side.''

He could not sleep now. Or to write it exactly as what is right - he doesn't want to sleep now. For the past 4 days, he just takes short naps because he's afraid that he will not wake up anymore when he sleep.

I could not imagine his pain. I could not even imagine how he looks on the hospital bed. And it just breaks me. It breaks us all apart even without feeling a bit of the pain he is feeling right now and even not knowing how hard he struggles for every breath to live.

He needs a miracle from above. And a miracle with all the love we can give.

I could only pray,

''Embrace him, Lord,

Hold my father's hand.

Give him the strength to stay if he should,

But if he must leave -

Lead him to Your Light.

Amen.''

...

Images and Words

Our prayers are always heard.

  Everything that happens is in God’s sublime and magnificent plan.

  We are not ignored.

  Only that God has His own time.

  Trust that everything is in His hands.

-TsoCo Lat-

Images and Words

Pedro Tavares Photos: The World Through a Lens @ Google +

''It’s not easy not to move knowing that you’re needed from a thousand miles away by the people you love.

But with restrictions of all  kinds, all you can do is sit and watch with your mind.

And feel cold.. and not sleep.. and cry.''

 

 

- TsoCo Lat-

At Twilight

10 October 2011
by TsoCo Lat

There would never be another time

To hold and to be in this place

The wind touching our face

Brings our spirits a cold shiver.


I stare to nowhere

I can only see light

If this is where you can rest

We'll let go of your hand.


Our time together has gone

With love we journeyed on

If still a few remains now

Each breath means life undone.


There could not be another chance

As the last few leaves of the tree shall fall

But you'll never be alone

You're enclosed in our love

... and forever we shall hold.

I love you, Daddy. It is heartbreaking that this is happening now that we're a thousand miles apart. But know in your heart that I've never really been far. Rest if you must, but if you still can find strength to live - - - we are all here for you.

Random Thoughts

Time changes things.
It changes people.
It changes how we think and how we see things.
It changes the way we think.
It changes a little bit or much of what we are.

I love you then. I love you still.
But the time in between then and now have done so much..
To change how I am.

I love you then and with just a word from you -
I can leave my world and run away in your arms.
I love you still but I have my own life to live now.
Without you.

The Chaplet of Divine Mercy

The Lord said to Blessed Faustina:

"You will recite this chaplet on the beads of the Rosary in the following manner:"

First of all, you will say one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and the I Believe In God.

Then: On the Our Father Beads you will say the following words:

Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

On the Hail Mary Beads you will say the following words:

For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

In conclusion ThreeTimes you will recite these words:

Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world. (Diary, 476)

Our Lord said to Blessed Faustine:

Unceasingly recite this chaplet that I have taught you. Whoever will recite it will receive great mercy at the hour of death ... Priest will recommend it to sinners as their last hope of salvation. Even the most hardened sinner, if he recites this chaplet even once, will receive grace from My infinite mercy (687) ... Oh, what great graces I will grant to souls who will recite this chaplet (848) ... Through the chaplet you will obtain anything, if what you ask for is compatible with My will (1731) ... I want the whole world to know My infinite mercy. I want to give unimaginable graces to those who trust in My mercy (687).

Speak, Lord . . . Your Servant Listens +++

Prayer is, in the strictest sense, a humble religious petition of man to God to seek divine benevolence and benefits he needs for life, both temporal and eternal. It is a conversation with God, either by accepted prayer forms, or from the heart. Here, then, in conversational verse, is a hypothetical talk the Lord might have with us, His children..........

It is not necessary my child, to know much in order to please me much; it is enough that you love me fervently. Speak here to me then, as you would speak to your most intimate friend, to your mother, to your brother.

So, you want to ask me to do something for someone? Tell me his name. Is it your parents, your brothers, your friends? Tell me what you want me to do for them now. Ask much, very much: do not hesitate to ask. I love generous hearts who somehow can come to forget themselves to look after the needs of others. Speak sincerely to me then, of the poor you would console, of the sick you see suffering, of the strayed you yearn to see return to the right path, of those absent friends you want at your side again. Say at least one word for each, the ardent word of a friend. Remind me that I have promised to listen to every petition that arises from the heart, and is not a prayer for those whom your heart especially loves such a pray?

And for you: do you need a particular favor? Make a list, as it were, of your needs, and come and read it in my presence.

Tell me frankly that you are prone to anger, that you love sensuality and pleasure, that you are perhaps proud, variable, negligent . . . Ask me to come to the help of those efforts, many or few, which you undertake to free yourself from these faults.

Do not be ashamed, poor soul; there are in Heaven so many saints who had these same defects; but they prayed humbly, and little by little they saw themselves freed from them.

Do not hesitate to ask Me for spiritual and material goods; for health, memory, success in your work, enterprises and studies; all these I can give and I do give -- as long as they do not hinder, but rather assist your sanctification. Precisely today, what do you need? What can I do for you? If only you knew how much I would like to help you!

Do you have, right now, some project in mind? Tell me everything in detail. What preoccupies you? What are you thinking? What do you want? What do you want me to do for your parents, your brothers, your children, your superiors? What would you want to do for them?

And for me, do you feel an attraction for my glory? Do you not want to do something for those friends whom you love much but who perhaps live separated from me?

Tell me what in particular attracts your attention today, what you desire most ardently and what means you have of obtaining it? Tell me if your plans are not working and I will tell you the causes of your difficulties. Do you not want to interest me in your quest? My dear one, I am the Lord of hearts and I move them, without violating their freedom, to wherever I please.

Are you perhaps sad, or in bad humor? Tell me, tell me, you inconsolable soul, tell me your sorrows in all their details. Who wounded you? come close to my Heart, and find in it a refreshing balsam for the wounds in yours. Then, you will confess that, like me, you forgive everything, you forget everything. In appreciation, you will receive my consoling benediction.

Are you perhaps afraid? Do you feel in your soul those vague stirrings of sadness which, however unjustified, can be so tearing? Throw yourself in the arms of my Providence. I am with you. I am at your side. I see everything. I hear everything. I shall not abandon you for one moment.

Do you feel ignored by persons who loved you once but who now have forgotten you without cause? Pray from them and I will bring them back to you if they are not obstacles to your salvation.

And don't you have, perhaps, some joy to communicate to me? Why don't you let me share it with you, like a friend?

Tell me what has consoled and gladdened your heart since yesterday, since you last visited me. Perhaps you have had an agreeable surprise; perhaps you have seen grave doubts dissipated, or you have received good news -- a letter, or perhaps a gesture of love. Maybe you have overcome some difficulty, or come out of a trying situation. All of this is my work. I have obtained this for you. Why not show me your gratitude and say, like a child to its father, "Thank you, my Father, thank you." Gratitude brings forth new gifts since benefactors, as you know, like to see themselves appreciated.

Do you not have a promise to make to me? I read, you know, the bottom of hearts. Men are easily deceived, but not God. Speak to me, then honestly; do you have firm intentions of avoiding the occasion of sin? Of denying yourself that object that harmed your soul? Of not reading again that book which excited your imagination? Of avoiding that person who disturbed the peace of your soul?

Will you be kind to that person who, because he offended you, you have regarded as an enemy?

And now, my child return to your work, to your office, to your family, to your studies -- but do not forget these fifteen minutes of intimate conversation we have had in the privacy of the sanctuary. Keep as much as possible, silence, resignation, modesty, charity towards your neighbors. Love and honor my Mother, who is also your Mother. And please come again tomorrow with an even more fervent heart, to unite it to mine. In it you will find every day new love, new gifts, new consolation. Here I await you.

The YES Prayer

By Anthony DeStefano

With praise for all You are, Lord
And thanks for all You bless
Lord, grant this ten petitions
... With your eternal Yes:

Please show me that You're there
When I can't see Your face
Send troubled souls my way
Their wounds I will erase;

Let me see with Your eyes
My mind with Your thoughts fill
But more than wisdom, give me
The strength to do Your will;

Bless me with abundance
Then put me to the test
Gladly will I give you
More than I possess;

Send me Your tranquility
In troubled times and calm
With loving arms sustain me
through suffering and harm;

Forgive me for my sins
Though legion they may be
When death and evil triumph
Bring good from tragedy;

But most of all reveal
The meaning of my life
The purpose of my glories
The reasons for my strife
My destiny in Heaven
No tears to flow again
My God, please grant me all
In Christ Our Lord
Amen.

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says...

http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

Photo Credits:  http://blog.archimedesconsulting.co.uk/2010/01/the-presentation-magic-of-steve-jobs/

This is a prepared text of the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.

''I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college.  Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation.  Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? 

It started before I was born.  My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption.  She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife.  Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl.  So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?"  They said: "Of course."  My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school.  She refused to sign the final adoption papers.  She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college. 

And 17 years later I did go to college.  But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition.  After six months, I couldn't see the value in it.  I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out.  And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life.  So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK.  It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made.  The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting. 

It wasn't all romantic.  I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple.  I loved it.  And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on.  Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country.  Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed.  Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this.  I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great.  It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating. 

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life.  But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me.  And we designed it all into the Mac.  It was the first computer with beautiful typography.  If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts.  And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them.  If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do.  Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college.  But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. 

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.  So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.  You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.  This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. 

My second story is about love and loss. 

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life.  Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20.  We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees.  We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30.  And then I got fired.  How can you get fired from a company you started?  Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well.  But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out.  When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him.  So at 30 I was out.  And very publicly out.  What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.  

I really didn't know what to do for a few months.  I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me.  I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly.  I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley.  But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did.  The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit.  I had been rejected, but I was still in love.  And so I decided to start over. 

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.  The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything.  It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. 

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife.  Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world.  In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance.  And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together. 

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple.  It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it.  Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick.  Don't lose faith.  I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did.  You've got to find what you love.  And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers.  Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.  And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.  If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle.  As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.  So keep looking until you find it.  Don't settle.

My third story is about death. 

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right."  It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?"  And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. 

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.  Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.  You are already naked.  There is no reason not to follow your heart. 

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer.  I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas.  I didn't even know what a pancreas was.  The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months.  My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die.  It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months.  It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family.  It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day.  Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor.  I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery.  I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades.  Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die.  Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there.  And yet death is the destination we all share.  No one has ever escaped it.  And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life.  It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away.  Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.  Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking.  Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.  And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation.  It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch.  This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras.  It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions. 

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue.  It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age.  On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous.  Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish."  It was their farewell message as they signed off.  Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.  And I have always wished that for myself.  And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry.  Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.''

Why I Wouldn't Settle

by joycemorrison
http://www.peyups.com

''I think I'm keeping this write-up for more than 5 years now and I'm lovin' it the same way as I've had read it the very first time. The writer was amazing- she was able to express herself well. And I can totally relate to every thought that she wrote here. Like her, I just wanna have that someone who will make my heart bounce --- for the rest of my life :-) " - TsoCo Lat

***

I'm in my thirties and a victim of those rude questions as to why I'm not yet married, why I don't have a decent boyfriend to speak of, what the hell's wrong with me. But why force myself? If I don't feel it in my bones that I'm supposed to be with a guy, we surely wouldn't be. I mean, we could be "okay" together, and fine, we'll be friends. But if he can't get past my black nail polish or I don't dig his chain-smoking habit, there's zero chance for us to be more than pals. I'll get off at the next stop, thank you very much.

It doesn't even sound appealing, "settling down." It's not like you find the chair you are most comfortable with and then sit on it like a Lazy Boy. Is that what a relationship is? There might be some who'd say, why yes, that's exactly what a good relationship is. But I trust it's more than that. I need no Lazy Boy -- I want a rocking chair. Comfort is good, but I need Passion. I need Fire that will be stoked with an equal Fire of my own. Carrie Bradshaw couldn't have said it plainer to the Russian: I want a ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other Love. A tall order but hey, it's worth the wait.

It's not that I don't go out and meet guys. I do. I understand that I have to do my part of being -- what do you call it? -- "out there". Jeez, I've been out there for as long as I can remember. I enjoy and have fun hanging out with them. And I must admit that there are a couple of "prospective" blokes around, a few even quite perfect to be with, you know? Just not the one for me.

So what do I look for in a man, I've been asked countless times. None of your freakin' business, I've replied. But once and for all, here goes.. it's pretty simple, actually: I want someone who'll make my heart bounce. For the rest of my life.

No "honeymoon period" for us. I want a relationship with a honeymoon all throughout, right until our dying day. Is that too much to ask? Perhaps. But I'm stubborn as stubborn does. I just know that there's a guy who's capable to perpetually woo me even after we've had 3 children, 6 grandchildren, and 12 great grandchildren. And he need not worry for I shall as well accordingly respond to his courtship.

I never forgot what I read in one of my personal bibles (The Bridge Across Forever, Richard Bach, Dell Books). It went something, like, we must not settle for a lukewarm lover and mild happiness. For deep down we know that lukewarm will turn cold, and mild happiness will become a nameless sadness.

I certainly will try my darn best not to fall into such death trap. I agree that it's nice to have someone to share things with and all that. But if it were merely for the sake of having a boyfriend, let alone a husband -- I wouldn't be only fooling myself, but also be leading the poor guy on. Being selfish is purely human, but I'll take my chances. Besides, I'd rather be single and endure the tactless comments of relatives and old schoolmates, than be with someone who doesn't have the gift to good-naturedly suffer my querks.

And what would make my heart bounce? Aarr. Let that be the deliciously incandescent quality of the man. Really, if I have to give out instructions.. man, I'd rather kill myself.

So I sound a tad jaded. Big deal. Even my own best friends accuse me of being a.. commitment-phobe. Now, waitjustaneffingminute! What am I, a man? Heaven forbid. Please. I don't chicken out of engagements. I don't dangle my mate like a puppet. I don't string along.. oh alright. I don't mean to offend the opposite gender, considering my would-be significant other is part of the male specie. Come to think of it, I think these commitment-phobic people only seem that way because they simply haven't met their match, you know? And when they do, they'd just know it. Just the way I would, too. I don't jump into pseudo-relationships because of the sole but crystal clear reason that I'm holding out for The One. Yes, The One Who Will Make My Heart Bounce. Is that so hard to understand?

The ever cynical Janeane Garofalo reckons that there might be one person in the world for you, but you don't get to meet them. But there are some people who are good at making the person they're with the one. Not bad. But, who really knows, eh? I follow my own heart. Period. When it's time, it's time.

Listen, I am not made of stone, even if others around me think otherwise. I know that there is that one man who can take my many-times-broken heart and magically, effortlessly make it as whole and as bouncy as it could ever be. I confess that it's taking ages for me to find him (and him to find me) but it will all be worth it. I just don't want to end up with a prick, that's all.

-Joyce Morrison

101 Reasons to Stay Single

A long list but definitely lovely. Am sure all the singles out there would love this. - TsoCo Lat

From:  http://earlswynn.hubpages.com/hub/101-reasons-to-stay-single

The Big List Of The Benefits Of Bachelorism

Author’s Note:

Thank you all for your support! When I originally published this article years ago, I never expected it to become so popular! Now that I'm happily engaged and this article has been optioned to be adapted into a TV series, I've created a new list called 101 Reasons to Get (and Stay!) Married. Enjoy, and whether you're single or married, remember: it's your life. Live it however you want to live it.

1. Everything in your house is yours.
2. You don't have to hide gifts, receipts, and other purchase records in ridiculous places.
3. If you buy something "yummy", you don't have to buy twice as much.
4. The only person you have to dress up for is your boss.
5. Your late nights are all yours.
6. Less stuff to move when you do move
7. One bedroom apartments feel more spacious with only one person
8. You never have to ask for permission to orgasm.
9. Only the doctor can tell you what to eat
10. You decide what to shave and when
11. Valentines day costs less
12. No anniversaries to remember
13. No extra birthdays to remember
14. No extra family to shop for during the holidays
15. No irritating in-laws to deal with
16. You can walk around naked whenever you want.
17. Only your sense of decency has any say about where you leave your dirty clothes.
18. You don't have to share
19. You don't have to change your life because someone else has jealousy issues.

20. The only insecurities you have to deal with are your own.
21. Getting that out-of-state job doesn't hinge on what someone else wants or thinks.
22. The only people complaining about music volume are the neighbors.
23. You can fall asleep anywhere without getting any guff for it in the morning.
24. You don't have to use the "headache" excuse anymore.
25. You don't have to worry as much about the "oops, I'm pregnant" factor.
26. The only person who goes through your stuff is you.
27. The only person who sees your inbox is you.
28. More time to spend with friends.
29. You don't have to live with someone who can't stand your parents.
30. If you want to go for pizza at 3am, no one stops you or asks you why.
31. You can date more freely.
32. The cute secretary is fair game.
33. The whole wedding mess? Yeah, none of that to deal with.

34. You don't have to share your closet with anyone else.
35. You always get to watch what you want.
36. You always get to read what you want.
37. You decide when to crawl into bed.
38. You can throw yourself into bed and snore without dire consequences.
39. No one else's annoying (or disgusting) habits to deal with at home.
40. The only fetishes you have to deal with are your own.
41. You can talk to yourself without people saying "what?" or worrying about your sanity.
42. There are religious benefits, if you're into that kind of thing.
43. Single people can still adopt, if you're into that kind of thing.
44. The only annoying friends you have to deal with are your own.

45. You don't ever have to wonder if you really love the person you live with.
46. There's only one way to do things- your way.
47. You are the master of the thermostat.
48. The only messes you have to clean up are your own.
49. The only disasters you have to fix are your own.
50. If an argument starts, you can walk away... forever.
51. You don't have to make excuses for yourself.
52. The whole "old maid" thing is so last century.
53. Dinner can be as simple as a frozen burrito.
54. When you eat, you buy and cook for one.
55. No one else is going to eat your leftovers.
56. No one else is going to raid your stash of sweets (you don't even have to hide it!)
57. You don't have to share your bed with anyone.
58. You can even eat in bed if you want to.
59. You can decorate the entire house according to your taste.
60. The only person spending your money is you.
61. Three words: Marriage Tax Penalty.
62. The only debts you have to pay off are your own.
63. Kids with single parents can get more financial aid.
64. Bickering couples are at best a relieving reminder and at worst hilarious.
65. Less pressure about body weight.
66. Married people are fatter on average anyway.

67. Suddenly, it's okay to look (and flirt).
68. It's easier to focus on your career and your dreams.
69. You're the only person who gets to decide if you "need to make more money."
70. The only mood swings you have to deal with are your own.
71. There are a lot of lonely and violently psychopathic people out there.
72. You don't have to change your religious beliefs one bit.
73. There are 6.5 Billion other fish in the sea. That's 6,500 x 1 million. Yeah.
74. Porn is cheaper, easier, and comes in more varieties.
75. The toilet seat only moves when you move it.
76. Cohabitation is legal, fun, and less of a hassle than marriage.
77. You don't have to deal with someone else's kids all the time.
78. Divorce is pricey.
79. You don't have to deal with "compliment fishing."
80. Fewer minutes spent with a phone attached to your ear.
81. No endless nagging.
82. You never have to answer the phone "right now!"
83. You can drink what you want, where you want, and as much as you want.
84. No doubts or worries about someone sleeping around.
85. Things stay where you put them.
86. You can meditate and have your quiet time when you need it.
87. The only thing whining about not being fed is your cat.
88. You can take out the trash when you feel like it.
89. You can shower or bathe when you want, as often as you want, for as long as you want.
90. You can even leave the door open when you shower.
91. The longer you wait, the better you know yourself, instead of someone else.
92. Children learn how to treat themselves by watching how you treat yourself.
93. A bad relationship is like a lingering knife wound- it continues to ruin your whole day.
94. You can be as eccentric as you want.
95. Your car can be as dirty or unusual or artistic as you want.
96. You decide how long it takes to get ready.
97. Say goodbye to heartache, dumping, and being dumped.
98. You get your weekends for you and your projects.
99. You can be the wild friend with all the really juicy stories.
100. You can still get laid. Maybe even more often. Certainly with more variety.
101. Being single and staying single isn't selfish. It should be seen as putting your happiness first (Where it should be.)

.
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Loved by millions, featured on countless blogs and even optioned for adaptation into a television series, this newly revised and released "Reasons to Stay Single" features nearly a hundred and forty reasons to stay away from commitment-- forever! Whether you're married, single or just looking for a laugh, this "big list of the benefits of bachelorism" is definitely for you!
Check it out at:
http://www.thunderune.com/2011/05/reasons-to-stay-single.html

Love is Forgiveness

Someone told me about a story of a newly-wed couple in some far and remote country-side place. After the wedding, the husband had to leave home for a month to work in the city and he had to travel using a long boat ride to reach his place of work. The wife was left alone. After a week or two, the wife started to miss her husband badly and she felt the need to go to cross the river to see him. She doesn’t have any money to pay for the boat ride but regardless, she went to find out if she can get a ride.  She approached the first man with the boat and pleaded to give her a ride and she will pay him later when she comes back after she’d seen her husband. She would surely have some money by then. But the man refused.  She never stopped because the need to see her husband is the most important thing in the world for her now and she would do anything.  She found the second man with a boat who said yes to her but on an indecent condition. She agreed to his condition and off she went to cross the river. Her husband was surprised seeing her and knowing that she has no money to cross the river, he asked her. She told her husband how she got the ride. The husband had gotten really angry and beaten her. He left her after and never came back home.  

Now, the question is: Who’s got the worst character in this little story?

My answer was the unforgiving, unloving husband.

Another answered that it’s the wife because what she did broke everything apart. And we were told that this is the right answer.

Let me tell you why I picked the husband.

There are four characters in the story. The husband, the wife, the first man who’s got the boat and the second man.

The equation here is [ BOY + GIRL = LOVE ] [ LOVE = MARRIAGE ] [ MARRIAGE = HUSBAND + WIFE ]. There was love, therefore there was marriage.

The first man with the boat is the Businessman. You want a ride, pay me the money. It all goes down to business.

The second man with the boat is the Devil. You can get this IF you will give me this. You need to return the favor.. but actually – it is advancing him the favor.

The wife is the typical woman who loves her man. She is weak. She is willing to make sacrifices. All to suffice the need of love. She would trade anything in this world to be with her man.  There’s a lot of her in us. The rich girl who turned her back to a huge inheritance because she loved a farmer. The woman who sacrificed a high-profile career to be a plain housewife. The wife who would not sleep to earn money because her husband has cancer.  Our gender would do anything, struggle through anything – for that four-letter word: LOVE. Who can blame us?

The husband is unforgiving and unloving. The act of his wife is not out of unfaithfulness, nor out of money. It is an act driven by love. The end purpose is love. The end purpose is him. But since he is ruled by ego and pride, he beat his ‘weak’ wife and left her.

You will not leave someone, especially your spouse, for committing a mistake or for doing something out of the way to serve a higher purpose that is Love. None of us has a pure soul. Therefore, we should be able to forgive. And we can only do that when LOVE resides in our HEARTS.



P.S. I really disagree that it is the wife.

The Truth About the Single Life

From:  http://thegloss.com/sex-and-dating/sex-and-the-sixties-girl-the-truth-about-the-single-life/
by Anna David

You’d think, after devoting an entire book to my various issues with and feelings about being single, I’d be extremely comfortable with all aspects of it.

You’d think wrong.

And never was that clearer to me than when I was away and surrounded by a group of the happiest, most well-adjusted-seeming, blissfully in love couples— a group made up not only of newlyweds but long-marrieds who had the nerve to behave like newlyweds—and their respective families.

It’s not that I’m always single. It’s not even that I was single while interacting with them, as I was, technically, dating someone back home. But what seemed reasonable—exciting even—in the comfort of my day-to-day life felt like absolutely nothing in the face of all of this coupled off bliss.

“You mean you don’t have children or a husband or even a really serious boyfriend?”, one of the kids of one of the blissfully married couples asked me during a big party taking place under a full moon one Indonesian evening. He was in high school and I felt like I related to him more than I did to his parents, who were far closer to my age. I could easily imagine being in high school, meeting someone like me, and feeling as confused as he seemed to be by my state of affairs.

I shook my head, shame coursing through my body.

I shouldn’t feel shame, though. Right? This is all because of choices I’ve made. Right?

While I never understood people who wanted to marry young—and, when I was younger, I barely understood why people would want to marry at all—at a certain point I got with the program and realized that something I’d always considered mundane and rather predictable actually did appeal. Once at that point, I spent a lot of time cursing myself for having so callously discarded my first love, my college boyfriend, back when I assumed that what we felt for each other was an ever-available commodity that I in no way needed to worry about preserving. Years later, I settled down with Love Number Two; when that ended, I cursed myself for screwing things up.

And thus began my mostly single years.

It’s not that I don’t meet anyone I like. I do. But the dynamic always seems to be off. Either I’m being wooed by—and caving to—a charming commitment phobe or I’m surrendering to a solid, reliable, sound choice who ends up boring me to tears. I’ve sat on therapist’s couches over the issue. Life coaches and hypnotists have even been consulted at times. I’ve been through the various and sundry programs and self-help books. I’ve even counseled others through this. Depending on the day, I have a fear of intimacy, don’t love myself enough, want a relationship too much, want it too little, am not ready, or just haven’t met the right person.

Look, this isn’t supposed to easy. As Helen wrote in Sex and the Single Girl, “We know the married state is the normal one in our culture and anybody who deviates from “normal” has a price to pay in non-acceptance and non-glorification.”

Non-glorification I can handle. Non-acceptance I have a little more trouble with. And I get that just because someone is married with a baby doesn’t mean her struggles are over. I can cite a hundred examples of people in those situations who don’t have anything close to what I want.

At the same time, I long for acceptance. I long to be normal.

The thing is, if I truly believe those final two theories about my current state—that I’m not ready for the big relationship yet or just haven’t met the right person—everything’s okay. Or better than okay. I can tend to my reasonably full life, relishing in the fact that, for the moment, it’s just about my career and my friends and whatever else I want it to be about, with full faith that the next stage is coming. Or I can go onto Facebook, scroll through happy wedding photos, count up the number of people I went to high school with who now have kids, and tell myself that none of this will ever happen for me. I can cling to every guy I start dating, believing he’s my last chance. Or I can —and here I cringe at trotting out the cliché all those therapists and sponsors and life coaches and hypnotists always seem to lean on—try to love myself a little more so that I don’t start buying into the notion that I’m incomplete because I’m not wearing a wedding ring.

And with that in mind, I’d like to offer take two on the question posed to me on that full moon’d Indonesian night: “No, I don’t. Aren’t I lucky?”

Un-Inked

It has been sometime since I’ve last been here. The days had been really busy for me in the past months and I could not really find time to write. There had been thoughts, of course, of things that I wanted to put in words but they’ve just flewn out of my mind.

I’ve been pre-occupied with work and working out. No guys. No dates. No extra co-curriculars.

It’s not that I am really loaded with work in the office but I am maximizing my time to put everything in order until I found out that I am deeply submerged with the system I myself created. I cannot even find time to open Facebook on my desktop!

In the evening, after I got home, I would rush to fix my dinner before 7 to be able to do my walking-jogging routine at 8 and be under the stars ‘til 9. The pleasure comes from the beat waves on my ears on a full hour and the trust that I am doing such for my health and to get fit.

But well, writing would always be one of the few ‘love’s-of-my-life’ and my life will never be complete without it. Weaving my thoughts is the most pleasurable thing for me to do after a day’s work or when I’m seeing the sun set on the horizon or when I would step on the beach sands with my naked feet.

Should write soon.

See You Soon

I can't seem to forget the last time we've spent together and it's amazing how the moments are still so vivid in my memory. I can still tell exactly how you look that morning, what you're wearing, how you sat on the couch as you drink your coffee as you run thru your emails, how you greeted and kissed me, how I cuddled beside you on the couch...

The last words you told me was "See you soon."

I never ever though that what you really mean was Goodbye.

2012

When I watched the 2012 last year, it was no more than a movie to me. I have never thought of the scenes again. After all, it's just a movie created by the minds of those people whose imagination run hundredths of miles before we can think of things in ours. They create. We watch. Their mission is to entertain us and if the movie gets sold out in the box office with people walking out completely amazed with the storyline and the effects - then it spells success to its creators.

But a year later, everybody's still talking about 2012. Not the movie per se but the coming of the year 2012 which will be next year.

The endless talks about 2012 leaves me baffled. Should I thought about it seriously when I could not contain all the images in my human mind whenever I would hear stories, read articles or see videos about the coming of the so-called ''end of the world''?

Though I do not want it to disturb me from the things I'm busy with everyday, I could not deny that a part of my mind hungers for knowledge and it is wanting to be fed with information about what's coming ahead. Some might call it curiosity to justify fear or to establish knowledge that would not be of any use when the doomsday come.

When the 9.0 magnitude earthquake hit Japan last Friday (11 March 2011) and tsunamis happen, I was shaken from my bed in the morning when the news greeted my face way before my cup of coffee. It was devastating and I was in great shock.

It was so easy to wash away Earth. From the video footages shown, cars and ships and houses were just flooded away to nowhere.. think about the people! It was only 10 minutes that I arise from sleep and I stood there in front of the television  and I was frozen. The only thought I have in mind is, ''What's happening on Earth?''

The deadline was set on 21st December 2012. They keep on saying that it will be the end of the world. It will be the date when the earth will come to its extinction. It is where the Mayan Calendar ends, as well as the I Ching. It is also said in the Prophecies of Nostradamus and the Merlins. And then there's the Planet X called 'Nibiru' which, according to sources, will hit Earth on the same date. There were also the shifts between the North & the South Poles which will cause horrifying  disasters of unknown proportions. Imagine Earth rotating in the opposite direction!

Simply put but still very hard to translate into words and imagine the unimaginable - the bottomline of what this tells us is that there will be a complete destruction of the world. For those who will be able to survive, we cannot really say that they will be lucky that they'll survive because the question then might be - ''How will you survive after surviving the end of the world?''

*All these are opinions of the author based on general media. This is not for the purpose of spreading information which do not have any basis or documented facts. References are online articles and videos. You are free to comment below if you wish to.

After the March 11, 2011 9.0 magnitude earthquake in Japan, continuous aftershocks are being felt with the average magnitude of 4.5 - 5 and its even reaching to 6 in frequencies of minutes, counting to more than 20 quakes a day.

You can see the real-time list at:
http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/Quakes/quakes_all.html

Never the Same

I looked at the sky and I remember -
How looking in your eyes sends me to a world I've never known..
How watching your lips smile lifts me up to the heavens..
How feeling your touch envelopes me into a space only you & I exists..
And how everything would never ever be the same.

I could have lost you but not the memories..
I would always be glad I have them
To keep and to hold close -
I will never ever be the same.

Of all the things I want to remember..
It would be the moments when you & me are together..
And I would travel back thru time -
To get into that moment when I first looked into your eyes.

*Originally written on 22 November 2010.

Hello, Diana!

Suppose you're dating a guy or let's just say that you occassionally goes out with one guy (and one guy only!). You're his girlfriend when you two are together but during the rest of the days of the month, you really doesn't care whether he calls you or not. You don't consider him a boyfriend but you find him nice and you always say 'Yes' whenever he invites you out.

You feel so comfortable and safe around him but you never demanded him to be around all the time.

It was all going okay until one time at 3 in the morning, you were awakened by his text message that says,

"Hello Diana. I was sleeping all night and wasn't able to text you back.

I wish you sweet dreams.  Kisses, Mi Amore."

Thug!

You sent him a sweet text message last night before you went to sleep because out of the blue, you thought about him. And he replied to you at the wee hours of the morning with a message like that.

What could be wrong with his reply? It was sweet enough to come from a guy.

But your name's not Diana! And it's nowhere near Diana!

What would you feel when something like that will wake you up from your precious sleep?

Then after a few seconds, there comes another text from him in your Inbox saying that he's still dizzy from his sleep and he mistyped your name.

You did not really expect since day 1 that you're the only one he's seeing. Definitely not and given the fact that you don't really consider yourself to be in a relationship with him.

If I were you, I'll send him a message back saying,  ''It's okay, Christian. We all make typographical errors sometimes especially when we're half awake :-)'', when his name is Ylio.

Just Maybe..

It feels strange knowing you'd soon be far

I don't wanna say goodbye but goodnight

And maybe, just maybe -

'Until next time' is just alright...

Thought we're not sure if we'll cross our paths again

Maybe one day, someday, who knows?

Serendipity may get in our way.

For now, I'll whisper my prayers

And send my kisses thru the angels

Not wanting to close my eyes

Coz it'd be another day less that you'd stay.

It's sad for me that you would go

But I will look forward to that day

When I'd look closely into those eyes once more

Who knows? Maybe, just maybe -

Serendipity will get in our way.

*Originally written on 08 November 2010.